What comes first? Farting or Sex

This morning I woke up early. I looked at my phone and it said it was only 7:30 a.m. I didn't remember that it was daylight savings and the clocks fell back an hour. (Thankfully my phone does it on its own!) So I had no intention of getting out of bed. So I just laid there and thought.

I am now going into Day 4 of NaNoWriMo. So naturally, as I lay there thinking, I am thinking about my book. I am trying to grab the essence of my thoughts, truly understand and feel what it is like to just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. I feel like for me to describe something like this, I need to feel it. I need to feel like my main character so I knew exactly what she was thinking. I needed to get into her head.

I laid in bed for a bit before my husband woke up. And naturally, he woke up and was ready to start the day. How dare he think like that? How dare he disturb my ability to lay in bed without being bothered by kids or by life on the outside world. I was comfortable and warm.

My husband got up and did his morning business while I continued to lay in bed. Naturally, since I refused to get out of bed, he decided to lay back down and snuggle. (Yes - my husband is a snuggler! Not me - I have my own personal bubble!)

Well, we all know what happens when you have two people laying in bed...

No - I wasn't talking sex. Geesh.... we are married... we don't do that kind of thing! (blush, blush)

No - we got into one of our weird conversations or what is better known as our kind of pillow talk.

"What do you think came first... The fart or the sex?"

"I think the fart," he said, without hesitating.

"Really?" I questioned him.

"Well I thought you were referring to that question who came first - the chicken or the egg. You shouldn't have worded it that way!"

"So answer the question then!"

"It's the sex."

"I don't think so, you farted in front of me before we ever had sex!" I called him out.

"No I didn't!" he denied.

"Yeah you did. I remember it perfectly," I announced. "We were heading out of the barracks and you were walking in front of me. Then you let it rip." I have a photographic memory for the oddest things. "I shouldn't have married you!"

"Well, you know you aren't supposed to hold it in," he said.

"I didn't fart in front of you," I said, declaring that I couldn't fart in front of someone until I was really comfortable with them. "But what I was thinking is, how do you sleep with someone without the fear of them hearing you fart if you have never farted in front of them before. Don't you worry about that stuff?"

"Nope, I figure if I am sleeping then they are sleeping."

"Yeah, but what if they are that creepy guy that wakes up and stares at you while you sleep?"

"I'm not creepy." Naturally, then he gives me that creepy joker like smile as he gets really close and smiles at me.

"You know what I mean... when they watch you sleep and they are all like wow isn't she so beautiful and peaceful when she sleeps and suddenly you hear...... thbrrrttttt... and a big fart rips out."

"Then I think she is even more beautiful because of the smile that happens because of the fart."

Well, I guess with a comment like that, he definitely is a keeper. Good thing I married him after all. But now it got me thinking...

Which comes first... farting or the sex? Both are intimate acts in completely different ways. And yes, I know it is hard to think of farting as intimate. But for some, it means you are completely comfortable with that person. Yet, when you look at relationships, how many will jump into bed and have sex with a person before they will even fart in front of them?

So, which comes first... farting or sex?