tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17248674720909797462024-03-13T12:39:52.201-07:00Ramblings of an Undiagnosed Mad WomanInside we are all a little mad... some just more than others.
Life will sometimes just introduce us to the strangest, randomest thoughts! These are mine!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.comBlogger176125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-30556480139074912462016-11-22T12:02:00.000-08:002016-11-22T12:02:53.296-08:00Things I think about while I am running!Today I decided that I was going to go for a run.... on my treadmill. I had to get this treadmill last spring when we got our taxes. It has been getting lonely. As I was running, I realized there are many things that go through my head while I am running on my treadmill. It isn't nearly as peaceful as running outdoors when you are preoccupied with nature. It's actually a really mundane task and with music blasting in the background, I need to find something to preoccupy my thoughts otherwise I am going to quit. I have never been fond of running, but it is something I do because I find some sort of solace in it.<br />
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So here are my thoughts... in no particular order because like most of my thoughts, they are mostly random things that pop up in my head.<br />
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1. This has got to be better than my original plan... which was to run to the store and buy an entire pumpkin pie and eat the whole thing before anybody even knew I bought it. It is Thanksgiving week after all and I have been obsessing over pumpkin pie for nearly a week now. However, I also know that I will be making pies in a couple of days. Those I will share. So stop obsessing over the pumpkin pie and just run already. You will fulfill your craving soon enough. Oh yeah, and you should also go for a run Thanksgiving morning so you can eat until your miserable... because who doesn't love a holiday that celebrates all things you are grateful for while practicing gluttony.<br />
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2. How many steps do I have now.... really.... it hasn't even hit 5,000. I must have been running for at least 20 minutes already. Nope, its only been 2 minutes.<br />
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3. Why did I buy this treadmill. I hate running on treadmills!<br />
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4. If I run faster it will be done faster. Nevermind... I am not really running for miles I am running for time.<br />
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5. Wait! Did I actually state to myself how long I was going to run before I got on this treadmill.<br />
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6. I kind of feel like doing a kickboxing workout. Should I get off the treadmill and do that instead?<br />
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7. I remember that one time that I actively wrote in my blog. What happened to that? Do I have nothing to say or is it just that things I have to say I think no one would care about. Is my blog so dead that no one will even stop by and look at it cause they aren't used to something being posted? I miss writing.<br />
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8. I can't believe that I am finally done with school. I have my bachelor's degree for communication now, however I don't feel any different than I did before. Now I just have more time to take naps.<br />
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9. I should read a book. Like a trashy romance novel or some chick drama crap. A fast read because I don't want to have to worry about too much of a commitment.<br />
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10. Remember how you didn't entirely commit to Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month where you write 50,000 words in one month with complete abandon) and because you didn't commit but thought maybe you should you started but never really kept up with that? You suck! But not really cause not everybody has the ability to write a book. You should get back to that.<br />
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11. Why did I sign up for another half-marathon?<br />
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12. You should run faster... click click click.... too fast... click click click... turn it down a little. Too slow. Too fast. Too slow. Too fast. Too slow. Crap! Well, this is just really good interval training.<br />
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13. Christmas is just around the corner. I probably should start thinking about that!<br />
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14. This song would make a great song for karoake. I should make a personal karoake CD so I can practice because who wants to make a complete fool of themselves?<br />
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15. How many steps am I at so far? I should probably run until I hit 10,000 so I can be lazy for the rest of the day.<br />
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16. When am I ever going to make updating my Ipod play list a priority. Seriously, who runs to some of these songs?<br />
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17. Spiderman keeps staring at me. This is why I run outdoors usually.<br />
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18. I wonder how much of a hassle it will be to get a new card for my gym membership since I lost my key chain card. I want to go sit in the hot tub.<br />
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19. If I slide the couch over I bet I could fit a bookcase over there. Then I might be able to finally unpack all my books that are still sitting in boxes.<br />
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20. I bet once I get off the treadmill, all the really meaningful thoughts will disappear and when I sit down to write them out, it will end up being nothing more than just crap that no one cares to read.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-16730216551442395542015-03-19T14:34:00.001-07:002015-03-19T14:34:33.532-07:00Dear Buddy - Rest in PeaceI feel a little silly. I am crying over a hamster. On Tuesday night, our little hamster Buddy passed away. He was our first family pet (technically second since my husband and dog early in our marriage)! He was a birthday gift to my youngest daughter more than 2 years ago, and even though I fought every step of the way against getting her a little hamster (but compromised because I didn't know how to take care of a turtle), I have grown to love him.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNTbJzvuu7cDHX_SO9m_gVtRoPMPyfSYeiA53b-n0edKltWxtDIHOLxtTeVaqr2T9RdcBmRRBrFYx_ttQFeRambEkORXwC552G3yJFM5XuLa-bis3GkoAubXqHOZ-PYwrW6uigYqcwwEQ/s1600/Buddy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNTbJzvuu7cDHX_SO9m_gVtRoPMPyfSYeiA53b-n0edKltWxtDIHOLxtTeVaqr2T9RdcBmRRBrFYx_ttQFeRambEkORXwC552G3yJFM5XuLa-bis3GkoAubXqHOZ-PYwrW6uigYqcwwEQ/s1600/Buddy.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Buddy filling his mouth with his favorite treat - granola</td></tr>
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Buddy has lived a long life for a satin hamster, and he was special. So while it seems a little weird, I have been bawling my eyes out since Tuesday evening when he died. I have been crying for a couple of reasons. The first, because I truly did care about this little guy. The second, because this is the first real lose my children have ever felt in the short lives. Trying to explain death is difficult. My daughter told me she didn't know her heart could hurt so bad.<br />
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While he was a birthday gift for my daughter, he truly was a "family" pet, and he was a unique one at that. He ran in circles before he had to pee.... just like a dog! He purred... just like a cat. Yet, he still seemed to want to always escape... just like a hamster. We truly were blessed.<br />
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We knew his time was coming to a close. He had been sick for the last week. He had started to shun food and water and he was no longer nocturnal, as he slept most of the time. On Tuesday night, when my husband checked on him, he was breathing very shallow. We knew it was time so we called all the kids around us to say their final goodbyes. It was a very emotional evening for us. He may have only been a hamster, but he was a big part of our family.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTo2TZzB60DD1PWIG3BZ-YrLsyv758wd_sLrUrmrd53ys_zVBrTsJxrsY3-DzldDT0wvXmQv2LUtt6CIW67SGEskNdujINnWrLHcEIkOcLu18tzci3C-BuFUn-P1D65AJfyaqnhRos5M0/s1600/Buddy+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTo2TZzB60DD1PWIG3BZ-YrLsyv758wd_sLrUrmrd53ys_zVBrTsJxrsY3-DzldDT0wvXmQv2LUtt6CIW67SGEskNdujINnWrLHcEIkOcLu18tzci3C-BuFUn-P1D65AJfyaqnhRos5M0/s1600/Buddy+2.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cuddling one last time. We held him<br />for two hours that night. I hope he found<br />comfort in peace that his family love him!</td></tr>
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I told my children that in death, we must celebrate life. So we discussed some of our favorite memories of Buddy. My daughter used to get him out of his cage and watch Saturday morning cartoons. She would fall asleep with him in her hands. How we didn't lose him, I am still not sure. But that hamster loved Saturday morning cartoons... or cuddling... or maybe both. When we gave him treats, whether it was some kind of nut, or granola, or raisins, he would fill his mouth so full. We always would laugh at how big he could get those little cheeks. Once we even gave him a taste of a pickle. I never saw a funnier sour face. This is the only hamster I know, that liked to give Hamster kisses. That could be because my daughter Bella trained him to do so, because every night before she went to bed, she would bring him downstairs in order to say good night.<br />
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This little escape artist chewed through 3 cages, yet, he never completely ran away. He always came back... because we were family. It was such a joy to have him as part of our life, and I am pretty sure we will never have another hamster again. There isn't another one out there that will ever be able to replace him.<br />
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Today, my heart is still breaking over this crazy little hamster. Yet, I know he is in a better spot. And just like I told my children, he will always be in our hearts. Rest In Peace Buddy. We miss you!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-23016607128730614262015-03-17T15:20:00.004-07:002015-03-17T15:37:33.032-07:00What a Difference a Month Makes - 21 Day Fix and Beachbody<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiACfUgJ7CQbaPn3dYHu5AOQavjP2oIlDGWZGK9OIrYrrlanFjvlUwUIs43rpJXXDbCQCdOpCv9e1dhbejyPo-VmhLthGG_E0G-qALMq8lpYhewL3qNI7_nLdWfVQixdG7wigCHveKaN0Q/s1600/new+and+improved.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiACfUgJ7CQbaPn3dYHu5AOQavjP2oIlDGWZGK9OIrYrrlanFjvlUwUIs43rpJXXDbCQCdOpCv9e1dhbejyPo-VmhLthGG_E0G-qALMq8lpYhewL3qNI7_nLdWfVQixdG7wigCHveKaN0Q/s1600/new+and+improved.jpg" height="272" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I just love this!</td></tr>
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It has been awhile since I have last written anything on my blog. There are some really good reasons and some really lousy excuses that go with this. The good reasons -- I have been working on myself and my health. I haven't really shared this information because I was afraid. I was afraid of putting myself out there; I was afraid that someone would feel I was trying to sell them on Beachbody; but most importantly, I was afraid of failing.<br />
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This meant, I had nothing good to say. You might even chalk it up to a form of writer's block. At least that is how I viewed it. I didn't want people to know. I didn't want to feel like I was phishing for compliments. I wanted them to take notice and cheer me on without me having to ask them.<br />
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My lousy excuses... I work full-time. I have a husband and kids. I have been running back and forth to appointments. This leaves me with very little time to focus on my writing, especially since I was already focusing on my health. These are lousy excuses in my book because I feel like I gave up a part of me by not writing regularly. For me, this is almost a necessity because it is who I am and what I need to do to be well balanced. Part of working on myself should include writing, as well as my workouts and spending time with both family and friends. The last time I was a success in my health, I was writing about it daily. It kept me real with myself and it kept me accountable.<br />
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So my journey began a while ago, but I am just now writing about it.<br />
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At the beginning of the year, I finally took off my rose-colored glasses and realized how disappointed I was in myself. I had let myself go, both mentally and physically. I was a wreck! Most people probably didn't even realize this because I do a really good job of wearing a mask. This is my protection. I don't let many people in.<br />
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Back in 2011, I had lost a serious amount of weight doing the Beachbody program P90X. I hated myself for gaining it all back. My skinny clothes started getting pushed to the back of my closet, and every time I went to the store, I found I had to buy bigger and bigger sizes. I blamed it on the manufacturers because it was obviously their fault and not mine. So I had signed up to become a Beachbody coach once again. Not so I could sell the product, but so I could become a discount coach and use the products myself. Yet, I continued to fail.<br />
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I was and continue to go through therapy sessions to treat my depression... something that is a whole different blog post by itself. VA finally approved my disability and I was being treated. Treatment left me completely vulnerable and the weight continued to creep up. I couldn't even find the motivation to workout and my eating habits were atrocious.<br />
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At the start of 2015, things were going to change. I was on way too many medications for depression and anxiety. I was becoming dependent and honestly, I wasn't really that happy on them either. I thought this was causing me to get fluffy. After all, I would never admit to being fat. But lets talk realistic. I was fat.<br />
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Yes - I do realize there are others out there worse than me, and when I tell people that I am fat, I often get a look of disapproval and those kind words that make things even worse, stating that they didn't know why I was being so hard on myself. So I joined Weight Watchers. I had a herniated disk in my lower lumbar spine and I couldn't work out... so I had to focus on eating. I started Weight Watchers at...(BIG SIGH!)... 198.6 pounds! On my 5 foot 7 inch frame, I was considered obese, but I hid it well. At least that was what I had been told. Saying that to myself just seems like another excuse not to be healthy. When I look at pictures now, I realize I didn't hide it well at all. In fact, I looked like a stuffed sausage. Harsh words? Maybe... Negative... absolutely.<br />
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The thing about a weight loss journey is it is a roller coaster. Not every day is going to be positive. You are going to say hateful things to yourself, things that you would never in a million years consider saying to another human beings. These are those words coming out. It has definitely been an emotional ride.<br />
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It wasn't until I had already dropped several pounds that I was able to start incorporating exercise back into my regiment. My back was finally starting to feel better... and so was my mood. No pun intended, but as the pounds melted off, I had felt a large weight being lifted from my shoulders! So I started the 21 Day Fix program.<br />
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As a disclaimer - I did not do this program as it was intended. Since I was already on Weight Watchers, a program that I was comfortable with to help me with my eating habits, I did not follow the eating program suggested by creator Autumn Calabrese, with the exception of regularly including Shakeology in my diet. I also started off knowing that I wasn't going to be able to do workout after workout for a solid 21 days. I was still being treated for my herniated disk in my lower back and I was aware that I worked long hours. I didn't want to overdo it. So, I did what I have always done. This technique has allowed me to be successful in the past... so I modified.<br />
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This program took me from February 10th until March 17th, which is approximately 2 weeks longer than the actual program. This doesn't bother me, because I am seeing positive changes.<br />
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I have done several Beachbody programs in the past... P90X is my original, but I also have TurboFire, Yoga Booty Ballet, 10 Minute Trainer, PIYO, and P90X3... but 21 Day Fix is simply becoming one of my favorites. The workouts are short, only about 30 minutes. This means it is doable for just about anybody. They also have someone that modifies the moves, and you see these modifications right from the beginning. My husband, who had his knee replaced in November 2014 is able to do almost everything in this program, with modifications. If he can do it that quickly after knee replacement surgery, anybody can do it. There are also 7 workouts. This means you only repeat each one 3 times during the entire 21 days. How can you get bored when every day of the week is different?<br />
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However, this is what I really enjoy with the 21 day fix. While Weight Watchers is helping me lose the weight, (It is hard to stand on a scale in front of somebody every week and not behave with your food!), 21 Day Fix is helping me tone up. Between Shakeology and gaining muscle, my weight loss has been accelerated. Since I started Weight Watchers, I have lost 21.2 pounds. (I have gained muscle which has caused the scale to go in the other direction, but one pound of fat takes up so much more room!) It is not an outrageous amount, however, a weight loss journey should be slow, because that means it is becoming a lifestyle change and not just a fad.<br />
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So here are my results from the 21 Day Fix... Round 1 (Measurements started February 10th)<br />
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<b><i>5.8 pounds lost</i></b><br />
<b><i>1.3% body fat lost</i></b><br />
<b><i>14 inches gone</i></b><br />
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I don't know about you, but the inches is what I am looking for. I am wearing jeans from 4 years ago. (Yes - I might be a bit of a hoarder to have kept them that long, but I couldn't bare to part ways with them because they were expensive jeans!) These jeans are equivalent to the size I was wearing in High School. And you know what? They are actually getting big, even though the numbers on the scale are about 25 pounds heavier than I was in high school! I am only stating this to articulate the fact that it isn't always about the number on the scale. It is about the whole picture!<br />
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Speaking of pictures... here is the before!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_PeReb53wQihM1Mr8OjMHmYEQOS8znIVqKXshRp7BlsCRqXOpjuQ4PU73Lzd-dH0JvIxeDmlJX87WDmCalLIkZjkpIj-Y_Pz-qVczHOtL79fWQ4iriAP-GbWCaJeHbumHJoBUwK75ZsE/s1600/IMG_0787.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_PeReb53wQihM1Mr8OjMHmYEQOS8znIVqKXshRp7BlsCRqXOpjuQ4PU73Lzd-dH0JvIxeDmlJX87WDmCalLIkZjkpIj-Y_Pz-qVczHOtL79fWQ4iriAP-GbWCaJeHbumHJoBUwK75ZsE/s1600/IMG_0787.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Here is the after!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHesvkw9vHWBifpHri5Nl-unBKu_j1oUghz_OfIiJgvs-ksl-7e4JprEzIjgE4D-q5FMkcUCFuh0H8yGL_UUv2eoKSgr1Jm9F4AUZTESxH5hACYMZIR1Gjx6W5QHXoMKb5j_rcETFa5VE/s1600/21+day+fix+results.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHesvkw9vHWBifpHri5Nl-unBKu_j1oUghz_OfIiJgvs-ksl-7e4JprEzIjgE4D-q5FMkcUCFuh0H8yGL_UUv2eoKSgr1Jm9F4AUZTESxH5hACYMZIR1Gjx6W5QHXoMKb5j_rcETFa5VE/s1600/21+day+fix+results.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><i>Can you tell the difference?</i></b><br />
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I still have a ways to go. My journey isn't even close to being done! And frankly, these pictures kind of suck! It would be easier if I didn't take them myself with a tripod. So here they are - completely raw with crappy lighting included!<br />
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Today I share this with you. I am making myself very vulnerable by posting these pictures and talking about my inside thoughts, something I haven't done a lot of lately. 2015 is going to be a year of changes. Tomorrow I start Round 2 of the 21 Day Fix, and this time I am dragging my husband with for the ride. Together as a team, not only will we both be stronger, but we will be setting a good example for our children.<br />
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As I continue with this journey, I realize I am no longer interested in just being a discount coach. I want to use Beachbody as a means to help motivate others to be successful in their own health journeys. I want to create a team who wants to work together and become stronger. Mostly though, I want to inspire others and work with them to help achieve their goals.<br />
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I am asking for your help and your support, and in return, I hope that you ask for mine.<br />
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If you want to follow my journey, please like my Facebook page <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stacy-Harris-Health-Fitness-Life/1625645404316127?ref=hl" target="_blank">Stacy Harris: Health, Fitness & Life</a> Feel free to message me if you have any questions, because it is my aim to help others, but it is up to you to take the first step.<br />
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If you want to check out our Challenge Packs at Beachbody, visit my <a href="http://www.beachbodycoach.com/barbergirl28" target="_blank">website</a> or if you want more information on Shakeology click <a href="http://www.shakeology.com/barbergirl28" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-89767357821931990092014-09-13T12:35:00.002-07:002014-09-13T12:35:59.686-07:00Killing the Muse Inside<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDzIa1RUxy92TtpTZ9JwmphmdFW7yYnA0Vw7gSLziYU0Nhyphenhyphen1xBdmxLTK9swnfTNo3G6ktZX05Q0wCSu_arVihCxxZ1FDLw32wOM99t_HmxGs6k_056a6_fCOck063Zgv1caeq36ou2ZWo/s1600/deepthoughts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDzIa1RUxy92TtpTZ9JwmphmdFW7yYnA0Vw7gSLziYU0Nhyphenhyphen1xBdmxLTK9swnfTNo3G6ktZX05Q0wCSu_arVihCxxZ1FDLw32wOM99t_HmxGs6k_056a6_fCOck063Zgv1caeq36ou2ZWo/s1600/deepthoughts.jpg" height="320" width="269" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thinking. Sometimes we think to much!</td></tr>
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There is so many things going on inside my head right now. It is making me just want to scream and show the world how truly crazy I really am. Yet, I have killed my muse, and for very good reason I must add.<br />
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We have all heard of the saying "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."<br />
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That is partially why I choose to remain quiet. I have things on my mind, but I can't say them. I need to keep my opinions to myself. These thoughts and ramblings are boiling over in my mind and causing some great anxiety. One of these days someone is going to ask the right question and everything that I have been holding back is going to come spilling out.<br />
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I am warning you - I am like a zit that is ready to pop!<br />
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So as I sit, I think. This is dangerous. And I started thinking about all those things that are killing my own personal muse. I am sure other writers out there might be able to relate. Or maybe I am in my own personal hell trying to keep my mouth shut.<br />
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School. School is killing me. Not just my muse, but me in general. I want to quit. I am not sure I can do it anymore. Yet, guilt is a sharper knife. If I breach the subject, I am told that the benefits far outweigh the pain I am currently going through. After all, when I am done, I will have my bachelor's degree. I will never again have to return to this hell hole of education again. I am smart enough. I can do it. If I keep saying it, I might actually believe it. The reality is I rather stab myself in the eye and twist it instead of reading these damn textbooks which only serve one purpose - to give me a nap after many nights of insomnia and nightmares. The same goes for the endless number of research papers I have to write that seems to pose no educational benefits other than seeing if you can properly write in APA format and find someone of experience to have said the words you want to say so you can quote them. School is the only place I can think of where you can't be smart enough to have your own thoughts. Cite everything and anything. Only subject matter experts can say something and not be questioned. I guess school is not for the opinionated and those who are educated by their experiences and not just on the words of those around us.<br />
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Work. This is a topic that I can't talk about. It's a digital footprint which leads directly back to me. If I say something offensive, this leads directly back to my job and my career. It makes me wonder if I can really say anything at all. I am judged, as an entire person. This person outside of work is not necessarily the same one that is at work. Maybe it is better to just know one and not both of these individuals. The work me is nothing like the me you might see here ready to lose her shit. As I was sitting at a meeting the other day, I realized that while I follow policy and rules, when they are brought up I like to question them. It is the devil's advocate in me. The reality is a business is a business. If they were a person with feelings, those feelings would interfere with the major thing that will make a business successful - money. It's nothing personal, but for me, I like to question why. If I were to question it, well, the consequences might not be very good.<br />
<br />
Life. My therapist told me that if I ever felt my anxiety building up, to think of a place that I could go to in my head. That is supposed to calm me down and make me feel better. I have this place. I call it Serenity Beach. It doesn't work. Maybe it is because my brain wiring is all jacked up. I have a million thoughts going through my head all at once and so my peaceful place is being interwoven with my idiosyncrasies which make me who I am. They don't work nicely together. I have a million things floating around in my head right now... most of which I can't say out in polite society.<br />
<br />
The reality is, these three factors are killing my muse. The funny thing is, I have never been so amped up to talk in my entire life. I just feel like I have a gag order on the line right now. Therefore... it is just best sometimes to stay silent and let the voices in my head do all the talking.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-80088418298338721802014-07-28T21:06:00.001-07:002014-07-28T21:06:54.005-07:00The Coast is Clear....Phew.... it's been awhile.<br />
<br />
I just checked the last time I had actually blogged. It was last August. Being that August is just around the corner, that means it has almost been a full year since I have done this. I might be a little dusty. Yet, part of me is happy. The lack of blogging and interaction between other blogs has left this place a graveyard. Excuse me while I dust off the cobwebs. However, in return, it has also left me a place where I can speak truthfully and very few people might actually drop by to read it.<br />
<br />
The truth can sometimes hurt. Admitting to ourselves what is wrong, can be the hardest thing we have ever done. For me, I escaped from what is normally my escape - writing. Don't get me wrong... it isn't that I haven't been writing. Instead, I have been doing a whole lot of other writing. Boring writing! Better off called school work. Hopefully, if all goes well, that will be done by next May. Yet, even with all this writing I have found that something has been missing. It has been my writing. This kind of writing. My ramblings, so to speak.<br />
<br />
I have been thinking about my blog a lot lately. Yet, I always turn the other way. Part of the reason is because I have a lot on my mind. It's about were to start, what to expose, and who is going to find out. Sometimes I like keeping things to myself. But right now, it is killing me. Let me explain.<br />
<br />
In February of 2013, I had reopened a claim with the Veteran's Affairs office. It was a claim I had opened previously in 2004, but had been closed. This meant I had to start over. The claim was for PTSD for MST. I can tell you what it means, but that might open a big can of worms that I am still working on. All the issues from this claim had been buried... pretty deep... and I was pretty happy. Then something happened and they all came flooding back. I hit my head - pretty hard. The doctor says there is no relation so maybe it was just coincidence. Maybe it was just time for it to resurface. If you look at the date, I have now been dealing with this for a year and a half. Still no acceptance from VA - they take forever.<br />
<br />
Needless to say, I have sunk into a pretty severe depression. I never smiled, unless it was fake. I never laughed, unless it was forced. I was doing pretty bad. Still am. Getting out of bed was a struggle. The nightmares kept me up at night, but made it difficult to wake up in the morning. I can barely focus. If you can only imagine, this makes life with three kids pretty darn difficult. As if that wasn't hard enough, I am in school full time and last November I went back to work full time.<br />
<br />
There is a positive and a negative to both of these situations. If I didn't have school or work, there is a good likelihood I would lock myself in my bedroom and never leave. I probably would be debilitated by this... completely... and a part of me would be ok with that. I am not even in the mood to function. But my sense of responsibility always takes over. No matter how much I want to fail the class because I can't focus on the assignments... or how much I want to skip work, not because I don't want to be there, but because I feel like I can't move... I move on. I have to. I know this.<br />
<br />
Yet, each day it gets worse and worse. My focus is less and less. My body aches. I want to get back to my obsessive need to work out and the will to just go to the gym or even put in a yoga DVD is not there. I don't want to move. This depresses me even more. Back in 2011 I had lost a shit ton of weight. Over the last year, I have been on the steady climb up. I am back where I started. This angers me. My clothes are uncomfortable. My skin is uncomfortable. I feel like shit.<br />
<br />
I can't pin point why I am getting so bad. I can be sitting there and I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. It's like I can cry on demand. Part of me wonders if it is the constant rehashing over everything. I have been in therapy, as well as working on documentation for my case. Ironic since I state that I am the "undiagnosed mad woman!" I might actually be closer to be diagnosed sooner than later. I cry daily, even if it is only one tear drop. No one knows. Last week as I was listening to the radio on the way to work, the DJ stated a survey that said 1 out of every 5 woman cry every single day. I am one of those 5, and it sickens me. I am not supposed to be a weak person. I have always prided myself on my strength. But it is gone.<br />
<br />
When you look outside and you see the beauty of this world we live in... it is something we should breathe in deep and reveal in. The world is bigger than us and it is amazing. I struggle to accept that. I find difficulty in finding the beauty; of being able to take a deep breath; of just letting my guard down long enough to even enjoy it.<br />
<br />
I can't do this anymore!<br />
<br />
This morning, I went back on my medication. I hate the way medication makes me feel. You are not happy; you are just not sad. I am ok with that. The problem is I have always been forgetful when it comes to taking it. If you don't take it regularly, it doesn't work. Who knows - maybe skipping a dose here and there can make it less effective... making it not do what it is intended to do. I didn't want to take the medication. It gives me the shakes. There is nothing more irritating the completely being unable to control your shaking hands. But here is the reality.<br />
<br />
I can't do this anymore!<br />
<br />
So I took that tiny white pill. My husband insisted. At first, I didn't feel any differently. Yet, as I was driving to work, I actually felt the drug kick in. I don't even really know how to describe it. My arms got kind of heavy, but in an uplifted way. I felt calmer, like my body relaxed. I finished driving to work. The same routine with the radio blasting. As I turned down the street to my final destination, I felt something I haven't felt in a while... a smile. And suddenly, I didn't feel so bad anymore.<br />
<br />
Maybe I will be ok.<br />
<br />
It wasn't a miracle pill. I don't feel great. I just don't feel like bawling my eyes out right now. I feel like I am a little bit more in control, at least compared to yesterday, and the day before that... and the days before that! I haven't been well for awhile now. This kills me because it seems that no one has really noticed. I guess this is my own fault. I wear a pretty tight fitting mask. Partially because I don't want to expose myself. And I push people away. So in a way, I don't let anybody see the true reality that I have become. Part of it is because I don't want to talk about it. I can't explain why I feel this way - I just do. I don't want sympathy, but in the same sense, I don't need to be judged. Telling me that I am being stupid and I just need to cheer up is the wrong answer, and frankly, it makes it worse. This is my own battle and I have to find my own weapons to fight it.<br />
<br />
But today, I feel like a I made a good decision. I took my antidepressants. It doesn't make me weak. In fact, it probably means I am stronger because I can admit that I need help. Maybe this will help get me back to being able to do the things I enjoy in life. Maybe this is what I need to be on the road to recovery.<br />
<br />
It must have done something. After all, look who swung by the blog and wrote.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-45154910441302231312013-08-29T10:38:00.001-07:002013-09-01T11:53:28.263-07:00Mind your Glasses<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEileA4vgRqWMJjbOF5g1x1jlk7TyXVSfat9thJCH-igvDd4Rr_XyGDUtSgsLNxKx9UX1uZm9_zOyq-ErIkxFJN3E_UyyyJz4tpyVYyvMqoaQ4ZfzOqIZwhshXH2Vyn68Wy1atVwynjU6Ow/s1600/wearig+glasses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="wearing glasses, glasses, prescription glasses" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEileA4vgRqWMJjbOF5g1x1jlk7TyXVSfat9thJCH-igvDd4Rr_XyGDUtSgsLNxKx9UX1uZm9_zOyq-ErIkxFJN3E_UyyyJz4tpyVYyvMqoaQ4ZfzOqIZwhshXH2Vyn68Wy1atVwynjU6Ow/s320/wearig+glasses.jpg" title="" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It is possible to find the right style of glasses</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;">When I found out last year my daughter needed <a href="http://www.glassesusa.com/" target="_blank">glasses</a>, I was a little scared. I've never had to wear glasses, so I couldn't relate. Would I be able to help her pick out the right style? Would she be teased for her new-found, but necessary look?</pre>
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<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;">After visiting with the specialist, it was indeed true. She would need <a href="http://www.glassesusa.com/" target="_blank">eyeglasses</a> to see the board during class. She was actually pretty excited. Glasses meant she would no longer be squinting to see. It was definitely something we wanted to nip in the bud right away.</pre>
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<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"></pre>
<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;">Now going through an eye exam is not fun. After all, who wants air blown into their eyes. However, it isn't the hardest part. The hardest part is actually picking out the frames. There are so many <a href="http://www.glassesusa.com/" target="_blank">eyeglasses frames</a> to choose from.</pre>
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<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;">Why couldn't they just make it easy? When I was in the military, everybody who needed glasses got the same frame. Granted, they didn't look good, and comfort wasn't exactly a priority. They were purely to see. When it came to trendy glasses at the store, the selection was endless. Do you pick square frames? Do you want circle frames? Do you want wire? Do you want plastic? Do you want name-brand? Do you want generic? </pre>
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<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"></pre>
<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;">Personally, I prefer the ones with the big bushy eyebrows and a mustache.
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh156z6LiytS1FNhFbrgiOU8_wCIlo-m-9sqO7bRgLCbLcgeUBKVb3nrtnGM9YkPy092VVzRtuOCEaDEcdI2Y8ZyTpysZmxgWc-KMcD_W7X78h9vB20TVGjdgTKZNUOIW3xcAl-vZX74eE/s1600/Stacy+Glasses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="glasses, mustache glasses, glasses with style, trendsetter" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh156z6LiytS1FNhFbrgiOU8_wCIlo-m-9sqO7bRgLCbLcgeUBKVb3nrtnGM9YkPy092VVzRtuOCEaDEcdI2Y8ZyTpysZmxgWc-KMcD_W7X78h9vB20TVGjdgTKZNUOIW3xcAl-vZX74eE/s320/Stacy+Glasses.jpg" title="" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Finding the right glasses can be tricky!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</pre>
<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;">After hours of looking through the glasses, my daughter finally decided on a pair. Now that we had to <a href="http://www.glassesusa.com/" target="_blank">buy glasses</a> for her, I can only imagine how her failing eyesight is going to impact our pocket book. That little visit cost a pretty penny. Do we have any other options?</pre>
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<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;">The answer is yes!</pre>
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<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"></pre>
<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;">After visiting <a href="http://www.glassesusa.com/">GlassesUSA.com</a>, there is a less painful way of picking out frames. Not only are they high quality frames and lenses, but I can do it from the comfort of my own home. They come with a 100% satisfaction guarantee and a generous refer-a-friend program. With 2 people in my household who wear glasses, I bet you can guess where we will be shopping next time.</pre>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9ohNanAmrg2E7juOKQre3mCQHiXHg7yWe4zo4sl8-Y0ilBWXUO5zzx4qUIsCcPmDv60wOAS0qMv7pxDBRdxZac_uP-Ac78w2u8jIx3Lsthf5R_YrZuvxfi7mdMr83pJ4yMM8n1MCJFgw/s1600/image001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="GlassesUSA.com, buy eyeglasses online" border="0" height="44" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9ohNanAmrg2E7juOKQre3mCQHiXHg7yWe4zo4sl8-Y0ilBWXUO5zzx4qUIsCcPmDv60wOAS0qMv7pxDBRdxZac_uP-Ac78w2u8jIx3Lsthf5R_YrZuvxfi7mdMr83pJ4yMM8n1MCJFgw/s320/image001.jpg" title="" width="320" /></a></div>
<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;">As an added bonus, if you visit GlassesUSA.com, you can take 10% off any order of prescription glasses with the code: Blog10. Or check out the Sales & Coupons page for current site-wide deals. </pre>
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<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"><em style="background-color: white; color: dimgrey; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Disclosure: I received payment from GlassesUSA.com for this article. The opinions and story included in this article belong entirely to the author.</em></pre>
<pre style="white-space: pre-wrap; word-wrap: break-word;"> </pre>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-44479724784387093502013-08-22T10:49:00.000-07:002013-08-22T10:49:31.788-07:00I need a 27 hour day<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4IhFxNqNx9SvgeVqXzyuI-h0QBYHheaM6HhyEgJITneM85bCzsZI8XN9YTXoYftYFtnVKsMtddhqNNGH5aaNsGfowLpO62MLg-PJ1rqdlQ8-3NX0QeTijT9RdFnH8MMLw8JaL3XQ8ymU/s1600/too-many-hats.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="too many hats" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4IhFxNqNx9SvgeVqXzyuI-h0QBYHheaM6HhyEgJITneM85bCzsZI8XN9YTXoYftYFtnVKsMtddhqNNGH5aaNsGfowLpO62MLg-PJ1rqdlQ8-3NX0QeTijT9RdFnH8MMLw8JaL3XQ8ymU/s320/too-many-hats.gif" title="" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sometimes, this is how I feel!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I have been gone lately. Maybe you have noticed. It isn't that I have given up on writing, I just haven't had the time. Returning to school has taken up a big portion of my time, and when I am done, it leaves my brain in a cramped up state I can't seem to even come up with the right words to put down on the screen.<br />
<br />
I seem to be wearing too many hats lately. I am a busy body, so it isn't like I am not used to running myself past the point of exhaustion. However, lately I have been more exhausted than usual. My therapist has stated my exhaustion is stemming from the need to control EVERYTHING. Maybe she is right.<br />
<br />
School is just one of the many hats that I wear. I am also a wife, a mother and a taxi cab driver. With my two oldest children back in school, I have now needed to get back into a schedule. There isn't an available bus system, and since my oldest daughter has moved into middle school, it also means I have to get all the kids up and ready and in the car to drive her across the city. It's only 3 miles and it takes about 30 minutes out of my morning. I am not really complaining. It is minor.<br />
<br />
I am also attempting to work on my second book. By attempting, I more or less mean I have been actively thinking about it. I haven't had the time to work on it. I will happily say I seemed to have thought of an awesome plot twist. However, my excitement still hasn't provided the drive to actually write it yet.<br />
<br />
I have also wanted to take more time to work on my blog. But every single time I think about writing a blog, I can't seem to find anything I want to write about. I want it to be passionate. Yet, I find myself filled with so much anger lately that I don't want to pass on my negativity to others. That leaves for many blank pages.<br />
<br />
I have been told I need to relax. To maybe even lose control a little bit. Sadly though, I don't think that is part of my personality. I am being pulled into so many directions I am not even sure I am capable of accomplishing one thing. I feel responsible for the state of my house, for my homework, for my lack of being able to keep up with other writer's in my network. I have yet to set up what I needed to so I can actively promote my book. I published a book, but being unable to actively get it in the hands of the readers, I feel like I have failed.<br />
<br />
To make matters even more complicated, I am attempting to get back to the healthy state I was in before all the medication complicated things. A couple years back, I lost 40 pounds. I was damn proud of myself. I worked hard and the hard work paid off. The medication had one very miserable side effect... it could cause weight gain. Suddenly, I find myself bloating back into my former self and can do nothing to stop it. No amount of exercise and no amount of healthy eating seems to combat the medication's effects. So I stopped taking them, but I still can't get back on track.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk3F0oqCCHYR1ZH4-RwNcoxZujqRbtMz3RYgW9XyvvnjJL3y4J95D6v3uxXfKX2xHGF-uonDFylrE_06CCihKCDh5GCzzd-h3-Jr0FqDnuqyHUMBnF12cjJhM4ft_jzcnq9zd1ph0vZPg/s1600/working+out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="working out, getting back in shape" border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk3F0oqCCHYR1ZH4-RwNcoxZujqRbtMz3RYgW9XyvvnjJL3y4J95D6v3uxXfKX2xHGF-uonDFylrE_06CCihKCDh5GCzzd-h3-Jr0FqDnuqyHUMBnF12cjJhM4ft_jzcnq9zd1ph0vZPg/s320/working+out.jpg" title="" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I have been told to ignore the numbers on the scale. Honestly, while seeing a good number on the scale is always nice, I don't care about the numbers. The problem is in my clothing... or the lack of clothing. In the process of gaining the weight back, my body has reshaped. Even my fat clothes don't fit right. I feel like I have a turtle neck of fat around my neck that is slowly choking me to death.<br />
<br />
Ironically, I know the problem. I will never be able to get back to were I was and were I want to be until I stop stressing. But for someone who has always lived in the fast lane, how do you do that?<br />
<br />
They say give up some of the tasks that I deem as "needed" to get done. They said to delegate some of the stressors to someone else. But how is that fair? I can't give away all my duties to sit on the couch eating bon bons while watching soap operas. Not to mention, that won't get me back on track health-wise either.<br />
<br />
Yet, this is what I am confronted with: Making the decision of what I need to give up so I can stop stressing about everything. Or maybe, I can just get a 27 hour day.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-64544610072221337652013-08-01T20:47:00.000-07:002013-08-22T09:23:23.048-07:00Anonymous<h3>
It takes some real thick skin to be a writer.</h3>
<br />
My skin is not really that thick, so when I read something negative that directly impacts me, I want to go crawl in a corner and die. I try not to let it bother me. I even say it out loud, hoping it will even force me to believe it. Yet, all I am doing is lying to myself.<br />
<br />
As I sit, these negative statements come to my mind and they make me wonder.<br />
<br />
I wonder why?<br />
<br />
Why did they target me?<br />
<br />
It isn't as if I know these people. Or maybe I do. I couldn't really tell if I do if they hide behind the tag anonymous.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4d6qRYQtA1DBY8TPxgUJMsMMd5AdY4jbOmwmmVf8gFJHCSjPfMJikHR7GwP-PwNUUW3p-9_YgQV4a_VWxxA8lbibp_P8t233nWmQzGwczWOqn2duejh814hzndwhZb5n4bQbTshiAgHo/s1600/anonymous.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="anonymous, hiding behind the computer screen" border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4d6qRYQtA1DBY8TPxgUJMsMMd5AdY4jbOmwmmVf8gFJHCSjPfMJikHR7GwP-PwNUUW3p-9_YgQV4a_VWxxA8lbibp_P8t233nWmQzGwczWOqn2duejh814hzndwhZb5n4bQbTshiAgHo/s320/anonymous.png" title="" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I have been thinking about this for the better part of a week when I came across a negative review for my book on Amazon. I took it with a grain of salt. They said it was depressing. I guess that is partially what happens when your intention is to make people cry. (And the only reason that was one of my goals was because I wanted people to feel the emotion.)<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCoe5Y8zzzPH5fJ1OZ6DcDBBxEEBMNCGyZsbeWQNGy3SqI0RemXEP1xTuGNHrEsY3pHGauNvD9mA7oghYnVrWA8MguJ21Ws1aX9Ki1Z_ovw-NBKkMl_3txsdxmcP0zKTLTGwE4GO44p4/s1600/MothersDayKindleCover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCoe5Y8zzzPH5fJ1OZ6DcDBBxEEBMNCGyZsbeWQNGy3SqI0RemXEP1xTuGNHrEsY3pHGauNvD9mA7oghYnVrWA8MguJ21Ws1aX9Ki1Z_ovw-NBKkMl_3txsdxmcP0zKTLTGwE4GO44p4/s320/MothersDayKindleCover.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Does this look like a romance novel?<br />
It doesn't even come close. So if that is<br />
what you are looking for, look<br />
somewhere else!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The first bad review made me realize people were coming to my book thinking it was going to be Harlequin Romance. Now I am not really sure why people are confusing it for romance. It is actually more of a drama with a few romantic parts possibly tossed in for good health.<br />
<br />
Yet the part that bugs me is actually the anonymous part.<br />
<br />
<b>Are you to afraid to stand behind your words?</b><br />
<br />
Signing something as anonymous is the cowards way of leaving a review. In fact, if you can't verify who you are, you have no right to even leave a review. I finally got over it, convincing myself that this person is entitled to hide behind their computer screen, especially since a positive review had already trumped the negative one meaning it wasn't the first thing people saw.<br />
<br />
Call it weird, but the major reason I was concerned about the bad review was because it was the first thing everyone else would see.<br />
<br />
Well, today, my husband messaged me. He had finally finished my book. (While he had an idea what was going on, he never read the completed version.) He even said it made him cry and he left a glowing review. (To clarify, I didn't ask him to leave a review because I thought he would be unfair. After all, his wife wrote it so chances of a bad review were slim. But he left one anyway.)<br />
<br />
When I went to read his review, I saw another negative review.<br />
<br />
<h3>
<b>REALLY?</b></h3>
<br />
This one, while at least they didn't leave an anonymous review, was just as bad. It was a personal attack, calling me "special."<br />
<br />
So, why is it that the majority of people who leave reviews are always so negative? Why are they trying to cut down an author who has obviously put themselves out there?<br />
<br />
At this point, it doesn't matter. I reported their feedback as inappropriate. After all, the comment they left seemed more like a personal attack and that should not be tolerated.<br />
<br />
<h3>
I swear, as a writer, a person needs thick skin.</h3>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-49171229725924448732013-07-23T11:29:00.000-07:002013-07-23T11:29:08.020-07:00I Promised I Would Blog Today...I am not really sure what I got myself into. Yesterday I publicly announced that today was the day I might actually have time to blog.<br />
<br />
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
What I should have done was keep my mouth shut.</h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4qK-16Ga5ugOIGcUU3ci7WH-c7JCKbOICCbOxbCkCgqg5t0QEti_ghnA5WbSOTQvfLaBIVw9-nY_yblE0U_QMYLDQW7kU6pz4x9CbfQ9mFcRUhLev4RuhStcd-tlf9h2Nw8g5L_-2sCM/s1600/lips+sealed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="lips sealed, close your mouth, stop talking" border="0" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4qK-16Ga5ugOIGcUU3ci7WH-c7JCKbOICCbOxbCkCgqg5t0QEti_ghnA5WbSOTQvfLaBIVw9-nY_yblE0U_QMYLDQW7kU6pz4x9CbfQ9mFcRUhLev4RuhStcd-tlf9h2Nw8g5L_-2sCM/s200/lips+sealed.jpg" title="" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
Time to blog? More like I should have taken the day off. My mind is numb. My brain is dead. I don't even really have anything to say.<br />
<br />
Yet, I feel obligated.<br />
<br />
Maybe you have noticed - maybe you haven't - but I have been MIA a lot recently. I could list a variety of excuses.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ3wWWwgOk-OGQ3PrMzQ97oiLGMvWbIsPrbsKtf7N8x_TD2jP9rCcNe5oKh2pfGEY6G26o-AfCQiMRujCRrtNT26uEwH43GfzYNmzgdeLj_P0v9Oz03341N9zkzBdPaLY-PtVp38aUeNw/s1600/IPhone+pictures+7-20-13+506.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="gardening, garden explosion, feed me seymour" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ3wWWwgOk-OGQ3PrMzQ97oiLGMvWbIsPrbsKtf7N8x_TD2jP9rCcNe5oKh2pfGEY6G26o-AfCQiMRujCRrtNT26uEwH43GfzYNmzgdeLj_P0v9Oz03341N9zkzBdPaLY-PtVp38aUeNw/s200/IPhone+pictures+7-20-13+506.JPG" title="" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look at all those flowers!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<ul>
<li>I went back to school.</li>
<li>I was fending off the zombie apocalypse</li>
<li>My garden came alive and kept screaming "Feed Me Seymour!"</li>
<li>I was doing undercover work for the FBI</li>
<li>I took up residency in a mental hospital</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Ah... but did any of that really happen. Sure it did. I did return to school and the last class was a beast. Doesn't help that it is accelerated. I was fending off some kind of infection... I am not sure if it was the zombie apocalypse. My garden did explode... with zucchini. I promise you they aren't talking though. I can't speak about my FBI mission. And I really need a vacation so maybe I should take up residency in a mental hospital.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
What matters most though is that I actually blogged today.</h3>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Did you learn anything from it?</i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i>Was I remotely funny?</i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i>Will I ever be able to get back into the groove again?</i></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
Ah - only time will tell! Now I am off to go see that doctor. </h3>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
Residency here I come!</h3>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-12148735647516084972013-07-03T16:41:00.001-07:002013-07-03T16:41:55.706-07:00He Forgot to Use the Safe Word!Last week my husband and I were in Walmart picking up some medication. I had done all my research thanks to WebMD, and I was sure I was having an allergic reaction.<br />
<br />
However, that is not necessarily what it looked like. My eye was swollen. It looked like I had been punched in the face, at least from a distance.<br />
<br />
People were giving us strange looks. I giggled innocently as I knew my husband was probably being cursed by those who didn't have a clue what was going on. It was obvious. The look on their faces said it loud and clear.... "Really? What kind of man beats his wife and takes her out in public?"<br />
<br />
With a face that looked like mine, I needed something to make me laugh. My husband was irritating me, constantly commenting on my inability to "leave it alone!"<br />
<br />
Revenge was mine.<br />
<br />
"Seriously! It is really starting to hurt. You really shouldn't hit me so hard!" I said with a smile on my face. The couple in front of us had their back turned to us, but had just given my husband the evil eye.<br />
<br />
"Maybe next time you should learn to listen the first time."<br />
<br />
By the time we got to the check out person, the couple in front of us was walking away as fast as they could, probably in search of a police officer to come rescue the Damsel in Distress. (Who am I kidding... this is Walmart!)<br />
<br />
This gave us a quick laugh and we proceeded on home to lather my face with antihistamine gel. Relief was in the forcast.....<br />
<br />
Yeah right. This is called Karma. That was last week.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSd_Wu9P23e4C0Kus2_zpMstsVvGThRIcujACJJkxOWPoTFoL3Db8VGc3l1F8EwyYZlJ3hL8z1CShdr5l-K7bOF9d5oIf8G9MGdjsa7rn016hJFw33fmA691i1uNVPCfPOE6YYrcKIck8/s400/boxing-gloves-400x400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSd_Wu9P23e4C0Kus2_zpMstsVvGThRIcujACJJkxOWPoTFoL3Db8VGc3l1F8EwyYZlJ3hL8z1CShdr5l-K7bOF9d5oIf8G9MGdjsa7rn016hJFw33fmA691i1uNVPCfPOE6YYrcKIck8/s200/boxing-gloves-400x400.jpg" width="200" /></a>The beginning of this week I started off with my left eye completely swollen shut. This was after a visit to the Urgent Care 2 days earlier and what I thought was finally the road to recovery.<br />
<br />
I can barely see anything. My hearing is almost entirely gone as well from this severe sinus infection. With my eyesight fading, I am starting to think the only sense I might soon be left with is common sense.... and I am not entirely sure I had that to begin with.<br />
<br />
This is obviously Karma from last week'<br />
s short prank.<br />
<br />
I thought it was funny. Most people should know that anybody in an actual abusive relationship, would not be in public joking about it. But maybe I shouldn't have been joking about such a serious topic anyway.<br />
<br />
What can I say - I am an insensitive asshole. Go ahead and judge me.<br />
<br />
This is my payback. Even though I have never been in a fight before... I look like I got a blow right to the face. My right eye is following.<br />
<br />
Guess what, next time Karma wants to fight I am taking the first blow.<br />
<br />
And until then, I am just going to use the excuse that my husband forgot the safe word....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-10703385422570098622013-07-01T11:49:00.000-07:002013-07-01T11:49:35.572-07:00Music Monday: You're so VainI never really considered myself a vain person. Not that I thought I was ugly or anything. But then again, who really does?<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFhGzrZkXN9S8WPsT87PyVROCVypEv6zfOuJ5qyWLZ9FvuaIem32FeeBUgK8McuFpCCW2eaWW0MrPGNrcKm0lPlBPHDdGtn2F-rAXSnNJpZf9P94jBKzEKjfE4deolGuFItpCb0A5FOZ8/s960/I+wish+I+were+vain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="swollen eye, allergic reaction" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFhGzrZkXN9S8WPsT87PyVROCVypEv6zfOuJ5qyWLZ9FvuaIem32FeeBUgK8McuFpCCW2eaWW0MrPGNrcKm0lPlBPHDdGtn2F-rAXSnNJpZf9P94jBKzEKjfE4deolGuFItpCb0A5FOZ8/s200/I+wish+I+were+vain.jpg" title="" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My left eye is almost<br />completely swollen shut. It<br />looks like I got into a fight!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Guess what? Lately I realized how truly vain I am...I can't stop looking in the mirror!<br />
<br />
All it took was for me to go through some medical issue I can't explain which causes some severe rash to cover my face and swell up my eye.<br />
<br />
Believe me, this is an improvement to the oozing scab from last week that will probably leave a permanent scar on my face.<br />
<br />
It has already been 3 visits to Urgent Care and the doctors have no clue what is going on. I thought it was an allergic reaction. Now I just think the zombie apocalypse is starting with me!<br />
<br />
That is why today's song that is stuck in my head for Music Monday is....<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Carly Simon</b> with "You're So Vain!"</span></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/j13oJajXx0M?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
Hope you enjoy... I am off to the Emergency Room. This really is turning out to be a crappy summer!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-16598343866067014312013-06-24T19:36:00.000-07:002013-06-24T19:36:27.648-07:00Music Monday: Let's Get PhysicalIt's been awhile since I did a Music Monday. What can I say - I have been busy and I have had way too much stuff going on.<br />
<br />
However, I have to get this ear worm out otherwise it will continue to bug me! Therefore, this week I decided to highlight Olivia Newton-John's "Let's Get Physical" video.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/vWz9VN40nCA?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Sorry for the torture, but I have a good reason.<br />
<br />
Most people who know me, know that I am obsessed with working out. Lately, I have been slacking. It could be the medication I was prescribed. It made me very lethargic and drained every little bit of energy out of me. It sucked.<br />
<br />
Well, over the last two months, the medicine took it's final toll on me and I gave it up. I know my body better than anybody else does and frankly, I didn't think the medication was worth the side effects. It caused me to put on close to 30 pounds.<br />
<br />
To me, this is not only scary but downright depressing. I could actually watch the pounds crawl on. I could see my skin stretch and I could feel my clothes no longer fitting me right. Yet, it didn't matter because even if I tried to combat the problem, it didn't work.<br />
<br />
Back in 2011, I lost 45 pounds. I have done it before and now it is time to do it again. It is time to get strict and it is time to get picky. I want to feel comfortable in my body again. So I started P90X again. I will probably be complaining about how sore I am, but it is going to be well worth it. After all, I know this program is what gave me results last time. And if I have to use this blog as a resource to stay accountable, so be it. I need to get into shape... preferable something other than round.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk3F0oqCCHYR1ZH4-RwNcoxZujqRbtMz3RYgW9XyvvnjJL3y4J95D6v3uxXfKX2xHGF-uonDFylrE_06CCihKCDh5GCzzd-h3-Jr0FqDnuqyHUMBnF12cjJhM4ft_jzcnq9zd1ph0vZPg/s1600/working+out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="working out, getting healthy, lifting weights, " border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk3F0oqCCHYR1ZH4-RwNcoxZujqRbtMz3RYgW9XyvvnjJL3y4J95D6v3uxXfKX2xHGF-uonDFylrE_06CCihKCDh5GCzzd-h3-Jr0FqDnuqyHUMBnF12cjJhM4ft_jzcnq9zd1ph0vZPg/s320/working+out.jpg" title="" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Welcome back Crazy Workout Lady!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-72219594341082756402013-06-20T11:20:00.002-07:002013-06-20T11:21:17.259-07:00I am starting the zombie apocalypse!I just can't seem to win!<br />
<br />
I am sick again. It seems like I have the worse immune system ever. It all started out with an allergic reaction. I have never been allergic to anything before... yet last month it started... small and itchy.<br />
<br />
<b>Last week it spread. </b><br />
<br />
I never learn though. I can't leave things alone. So I messed with it. I itched it. (Because it felt good. And when things itch, you scratch!)<br />
<br />
<b><i>What did I end up with... a face that looks like I was wearing glasses and got punched in the face!</i></b><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_oINdG_aPQIkWnFobQsZ3i7dpyDLftsybF746sq58Vs7DPbOwaBtOxpu7P9iB_FuI9qxcjmlKdZfx_VuOdWussFo8kO8TB7llYYLxzQ_QGJH8Gsp6yIKvYrp8K0j1isPiUcCiFgB1aOQ/s1600/iPhone+Pictures+June+20+2013+128.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="surprise, accessorizing" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_oINdG_aPQIkWnFobQsZ3i7dpyDLftsybF746sq58Vs7DPbOwaBtOxpu7P9iB_FuI9qxcjmlKdZfx_VuOdWussFo8kO8TB7llYYLxzQ_QGJH8Gsp6yIKvYrp8K0j1isPiUcCiFgB1aOQ/s320/iPhone+Pictures+June+20+2013+128.JPG" title="" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I accessorized<br />
to distract people from my face!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Don't worry. I won't show you because I don't want to scare you! Luckily it has stayed on one side of my face, so I could easily get a mask like the Phantom of the Opera.<br />
<br />
So as if I wasn't miserable enough... then I got a cold. It started off small. A little scratchiness in my throat.<br />
<br />
Then my voice disappeared. <i>(No applauding - I don't talk <b>that </b>much!)</i><br />
<br />
My noise started running.<i> (I would run too if I had the opportunity!)</i><br />
<br />
My sinuses are clogged and if I take a deep breath I seem to launch into a coughing fit!<br />
<br />
This morning when I woke my face had scabbed over where the allergic reaction was and it was leaking, my eyes were watery and crusted shut, and I couldn't stop coughing. I felt miserable and what should be getting better each day, isn't even close to improving. <i>(I only share this disgusting description so you too can share in my misery and feel sorry for me!)</i><br />
<br />
That means there is only one logical conclusion.<br />
<br />
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The zombie apocalypse has started... </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">and it started with me!</span></h2>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWpWjy_Qfsr2Lg66An9ZBSOinxL3c3cEbZZSgDizYz9k7HWFRMBOE6PLHu1CL7frHtv7142RUQxEFz_bQJjCTXqVT2bFdSBrJDWZ51CVOKqPOglJi-wOB4RpqLHGgDVHl-cY4o3w21zUE/s1600/zombie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWpWjy_Qfsr2Lg66An9ZBSOinxL3c3cEbZZSgDizYz9k7HWFRMBOE6PLHu1CL7frHtv7142RUQxEFz_bQJjCTXqVT2bFdSBrJDWZ51CVOKqPOglJi-wOB4RpqLHGgDVHl-cY4o3w21zUE/s1600/zombie.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-27810909992981665712013-06-12T15:48:00.000-07:002013-06-12T15:48:39.623-07:00Go BIG or Go Home!<h4>
I have a problem...</h4>
I usually get something set in my head and I want to do it. The problem is, I can't and won't start out small. I have to go all the way. I have to make an investment. If I don't have everything I want, I won't be a success.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-MyyCZhSoqaiF6DKfvF1PKLZS3r2QdbwJTs655rVKksnJwlj2-kYxmn-P7x3FFBt7HvTp0OeIZTpLQN7aJ8u6WrMAgY7-rpKuOrPyWV6cB_NizbaZNFwQQTWnBTswyDkQjdwZ_XiFEhQ/s1600/Pincushion-Tomato.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-MyyCZhSoqaiF6DKfvF1PKLZS3r2QdbwJTs655rVKksnJwlj2-kYxmn-P7x3FFBt7HvTp0OeIZTpLQN7aJ8u6WrMAgY7-rpKuOrPyWV6cB_NizbaZNFwQQTWnBTswyDkQjdwZ_XiFEhQ/s320/Pincushion-Tomato.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I did this once with sewing. Got all the Dummy manuals, got the tomato looking pin cushion. I even asked and got a real live sewing machine for Christmas one year (which is, by the way, sitting in the box - only been used a few select times, most of which ended up being a jammed up mess!) I spent more than 100 dollars on patterns and fabrics and really cool specialty scissors.<br />
<br />
The obsession to be the next best seamstress and make awesome homemade clothes didn't last long. Soon I moved on to crocheting... That didn't last long either but I did make a rather frumpy looking scarf once.<br />
<br />
I also did the same think with crafts. Bought all the supplies to make my own jewelry. I intended on wearing it and selling it. Instead, I gave most of it away and threw the rest in the box were they continue to get into a tangled mess. Bought a bunch of stamps. Thought it would be fun to make homemade cards and stamp stuff. It really wasn't my thing.<br />
<br />
I also can't forget about the time I decided to explore my musical talents. I love music. I used to play the clarinet in high school. So naturally, I thought with all this extra time on my hands, I would be able to teach myself how to play guitar.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1TWcFWfKyFQJMoFeFkMEcC-HDCKA_ZL0_g_IkSk_wZHvD3EZvt0lSyp3p0coRrj901vBG_V2wJBlZRvomhTr2wvmVJfw2LjZ1VLuMv51OzEhKgl0cEWZayl6Xtb-jN1oJQn-inNu3pf8/s1600/downloaded+Feb.+27+2011+050.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="playing guitar, rocking, acoustic guitar" border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1TWcFWfKyFQJMoFeFkMEcC-HDCKA_ZL0_g_IkSk_wZHvD3EZvt0lSyp3p0coRrj901vBG_V2wJBlZRvomhTr2wvmVJfw2LjZ1VLuMv51OzEhKgl0cEWZayl6Xtb-jN1oJQn-inNu3pf8/s320/downloaded+Feb.+27+2011+050.JPG" title="" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I am pretty good at pretending that I am rocking out!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
After months of not being able to figure out the correct way to strum, some really sore fingers, and constant complaints about my boobs getting in the way, I gave up and moved on to Piano. (I am happy to say I am having a more positive experience with this one, and have almost figured out how to play Fur Elise!)<br />
<br />
<b>This year - it is gardening.</b><br />
<br />
I have no idea how to garden. In fact, looking at my record, I have probably killed more plants than I have been able to grow. I once treated a hanging strawberry plant with Raid to get rid of the ants. The ants no longer bothered my plant... we didn't get strawberries either.<br />
<br />
So this year I am going to prove my black thumb wrong. On a positive note, I got my kids to keep checking on it for me! Out of the four of us, we should at least come up with one thing that is edible.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMA2jJgbUQNDbGZj1I4si8bSUozEK_eY82g1J97rMa-YqmRF-GqPxjZF_79XiXvVqfgAY6Vc40ui2LDOF0vCGFqfk1tKwHG8gN61YTFc1GWdGOna8OtLXnLMYKSULZjxX0VhZbiueY3to/s1600/Gardening.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="gardening, healthy eating, planting, vegetables" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMA2jJgbUQNDbGZj1I4si8bSUozEK_eY82g1J97rMa-YqmRF-GqPxjZF_79XiXvVqfgAY6Vc40ui2LDOF0vCGFqfk1tKwHG8gN61YTFc1GWdGOna8OtLXnLMYKSULZjxX0VhZbiueY3to/s320/Gardening.jpg" title="" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The kids are so excited. They can't wait<br />
for stuff to start growing!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-85817430494658598402013-06-04T20:18:00.002-07:002013-06-04T20:23:28.277-07:00Are You A Bra? A Question of Support<i><span style="font-size: large;">The desperate and insecure writer in me is trying to climb out...</span></i><br />
<br />
I can't help it though. I am a curious individual. I ask questions. I seek answers. I talk about everything. I can only assume this is the reason I enjoy writing.<br />
<br />
It allows me to express myself. I can just blurt stuff out on paper that comes to mind. When I talk, I usually try to think before the words are formed. I hold back a lot.... not when I am writing.<br />
<br />
So this leads me to where I am today... thinking about my book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Mothers-Day-ebook/dp/B00CS74QOY/ref=sr_sp-atf_title_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1370384379&sr=1-1&keywords=Mother%27s+Day%2C+Stacy+Harris" target="_blank"><b>Mother's Day</b></a>. Thinking about how to get it into the hands of readers. Thinking how to convince people to spread the word. Wondering if it is good enough. There are people out there that have told me it is great. I didn't pay them to say it either.<br />
<br />
I still question it though. Is it great because they know me... or did they really enjoy it. Did they get an emotional response? Are they telling their friends and family about the last book they read? Are they passing it on.<br />
<br />
I am new to this whole promoting myself. What it has done has brought up massive amounts of questions. Questions about my supporters, questions about spreading the word, just questions in general.<br />
<br />
Freelance artists struggle. No body knows who they are and they have to work insanely hard to get a buzz going. It is those supporters who create that buzz... and it is one thing that made me realize what kind of supporter I am.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I am a supporter of the freelance artists. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I am a bra - if you must.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6fjTq_tcSTp2XJ4yEaiPsfLTNmKg3d4zYtxlIA32iHbFEmSBgFsl9h_je8U7bw_VURU0mZMVPkwWf9dGMgXVKC8hyaoJTGbhzZKae7wOUTws-vmu-kpHSeqnpzNJ4g8UWuyzLMp4klVg/s1600/Misfit+Heights.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Misfit Heights, unfettered entertainment, zombie puppet musical" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6fjTq_tcSTp2XJ4yEaiPsfLTNmKg3d4zYtxlIA32iHbFEmSBgFsl9h_je8U7bw_VURU0mZMVPkwWf9dGMgXVKC8hyaoJTGbhzZKae7wOUTws-vmu-kpHSeqnpzNJ4g8UWuyzLMp4klVg/s200/Misfit+Heights.jpg" title="" width="128" /></a><br />
Anytime I know a person who has accomplished a goal they can brag about, I get excited. I want to support them. I want to brag about them. I want to tell the world that I knew them way back when....<br />
<br />
When I found out an old friend from high school made a movie, I couldn't wait for it to be released so I could see it. I immediately went to their Facebook page <a href="https://www.facebook.com/misfitheights?fref=ts" target="_blank">Misfit Heights</a> and not only "Liked" the page, but also spammed my friends with it. It is a zombie puppet musical. How can it possibly get any better than that? Sure, it might not be everybody's thing. It is a small niche to say the least. But it was great and the fact is... I was supporting a fellow peer from High School.<br />
<b><i>If you want to know more - look to your left. I got him on the sidebar and I highly encourage you to check it out!</i></b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI_iacIjDibBQF1Q4ePvN_L6Ap2JCxI_br3Amf7TAEJIH7kSnG7RALbdYqbDaOVxkYQozWvSLufUu8PB8JC9ftkAbZ0Vb-avYVp6OjM7gYe3j6JHFSSlB_HFOjH8DYwfeVy5JaPotHtrM/s1600/Soul+Finding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Soul Finding, Fantasy fiction book" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI_iacIjDibBQF1Q4ePvN_L6Ap2JCxI_br3Amf7TAEJIH7kSnG7RALbdYqbDaOVxkYQozWvSLufUu8PB8JC9ftkAbZ0Vb-avYVp6OjM7gYe3j6JHFSSlB_HFOjH8DYwfeVy5JaPotHtrM/s200/Soul+Finding.jpg" title="" width="150" /></a>As a writer, I have also run into others as well who have jumped on the dream boat and accomplished a goal. One of my friends from Wisconsin, author C.L. Crowe, wrote the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Halfling-Souls-Series-ebook/dp/B00B2PP91M/ref=sr_sp-atf_title_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370383697&sr=8-1&keywords=soul+finding" target="_blank">Soul Finding</a>. I have already<br />
read it on my Kindle and I am anxiously awaiting the second book's release. I also plan on purchasing a hard copy of the book just so I can have her sign it the next time I see her. I won't even go into how mad I am at her for publishing her book first! I guess she won fair and square though, so I can't hold it over her head too much. She will just have to buy me lunch next time we get together since she has got a few months on me for the publishing gig.<br />
<br />
Obviously because of what I do, I have run into many talented artists out there. Melanie from <a href="http://www.scribblesandsmiles.com/" target="_blank">Scribbles and Smiles</a> also just published the book <b><i>"Make Happiness Happen!"</i></b> It is a quick read packed full of inspiration. I was so excited to see it since her accomplish this goal since she was one of my biggest supporters and fans during National Novel Writing Month.<br />
<br />
My friend Vicki over at <a href="http://laugh-lines.net/" target="_blank">Laugh Lines</a> was recently featured in a book called the "Life Well Blogged," which I was lucky enough to receive a complimentary copy. What I have read so far has me rolling with laughter.<br />
<br />
Then of course their is Cyndi over at <a href="http://pictimilitude.com/" target="_blank">Pictimilitude</a>, who is going to take the world by storm with her works of art. One day I will have one of her pictures hanging on my wall.<br />
<br />
As writers, there are several different forms of support. Marie Landry gave me the opportunity to have my first experience at being a Beta Reader for her book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Waiting-for-the-Storm-ebook/dp/B00C8AUHVW/ref=sr_sp-atf_title_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1370384270&sr=1-1&keywords=Waiting+for+the+Storm" target="_blank">"Waiting For The Storm."</a> I was really excited to read it and give her my personal thoughts. It was a definite read and it made me curious about the other books she has written as well. Upon completion of beta reading, I bought all her books. I love supporting other artists.<br />
<br />
Naturally, I can't forget about Julie DeNeen, form <a href="http://www.juliedeneen.com/" target="_blank">Life According to Julie</a>, who was the initial push into my blogging. Who has always been around to push others to write what they feel and expose themselves. She is honest and doesn't hold anything back and that is something to admire in today's world. She already wrote two books which I couldn't put down - "<b><i>Wanted</i></b>" and <b><i>"Writing Through The Chaos.</i></b>" She has a million other things on her plate, including a blogging consultation business through <a href="http://fabulousblogging.com/" target="_blank">Fabulous Blogging</a>. She has been a big inspiration for almost every writer and blogger I have met in the digital world, and no one has a negative thing to say about her. Honestly, even on those days when I have been busy and it seems like I am not around, I still quietly stalk her just because the stuff she has to say is so refreshing.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSd_Wu9P23e4C0Kus2_zpMstsVvGThRIcujACJJkxOWPoTFoL3Db8VGc3l1F8EwyYZlJ3hL8z1CShdr5l-K7bOF9d5oIf8G9MGdjsa7rn016hJFw33fmA691i1uNVPCfPOE6YYrcKIck8/s1600/boxing-gloves-400x400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="girl fight, boxing gloves, fighting" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSd_Wu9P23e4C0Kus2_zpMstsVvGThRIcujACJJkxOWPoTFoL3Db8VGc3l1F8EwyYZlJ3hL8z1CShdr5l-K7bOF9d5oIf8G9MGdjsa7rn016hJFw33fmA691i1uNVPCfPOE6YYrcKIck8/s200/boxing-gloves-400x400.jpg" title="" width="200" /></a><br />
Last, but definitely not least, (because she will beat me up otherwise!), I want to mention Terrye from <a href="http://misplacedalaskan.com/" target="_blank">The Adventures of a Misplaced Alaskan</a>. I hear she is jumping on the band wagon to write a book as well. She won't tell me any more details about it, so I won't dwell about not being able to gossip. However, when it comes to support, she is someone you want on your side and she is a treasure to have in your life. Every time I was feeling down and wanted to call it quits, I would say something and she would tell me to shut it. It really made me feel better!<br />
<br />
There are also some other key people who are responsible for some great products. Shelby McKee, owner and founder of <a href="http://keysocks.com/" target="_blank">Keysocks</a>, has been one of my biggest supporters. I was one of the first writers to get the inside scoop on this product. These socks are perfect for any woman who like to wear their shoes, and their socks too. This was an ingenious idea and I talk about them like they were mine. Reality is, I just want to share the love.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/yogasandals?fref=ts" target="_blank">Yoga Sandals</a> are another product I stand by and want to mention. The philosophy behind this product is one I can stand behind and truly believe in. I love the concept of these shoes, since they help with foot and knee problems. I love the positive outlook this business portrays. And I also can't fail to mention one of their employees, my friend Liz, is also one of the people who helped me with the cover of my book. One thing is for sure though, I love spread the word about great quality products like this.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5TGHt7Xag9agsRrE_UdYxO3NOE1eMKENkyd3ihYjXd10y7GqLZszMPSZ8VQBuFvz712jmVu7xYEdQ9LQYK97Q6KDC-GpE7OVrMk26xtySFvfLCsMH__Zschi1MxNOhtIAW9DnA9ODLAU/s1600/friends+are+like+bras.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="bras, support" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5TGHt7Xag9agsRrE_UdYxO3NOE1eMKENkyd3ihYjXd10y7GqLZszMPSZ8VQBuFvz712jmVu7xYEdQ9LQYK97Q6KDC-GpE7OVrMk26xtySFvfLCsMH__Zschi1MxNOhtIAW9DnA9ODLAU/s1600/friends+are+like+bras.gif" title="Friends are Like Bras" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Who are your bras?</b></span><br />
<br />
Overall, I learned there are people in your life who are like bras. They support you and pick you up. They go out of their way to tell you how proud they are of you, the will spend their last dime just to buy your latest piece of work. They don't do this because of it's quality, because it doesn't even matter what it is, but because they want the bragging rights. They want to show you off.<br />
<br />
For instance, my mom has already bought 3 of my books. My Grandma has to buy another one because she refuses to share. My sister finished the book in less than 24 hours of receiving it, and I might also add that she was one of the very first to buy it. Now that is support.<br />
<br />
After talking to one of the local bookstores, I started feeling the love of supporters everywhere. This man, who has never met me or seen me or even read my book, was excited about my accomplishment. This excitement stemmed from me being a local self-published author. He told me how to make connections - how some of these people will become the greatest supporters just because I am local. It got me excited.<br />
<br />
It also got me thinking - who are your supporters? Do you know who they are? Do they brag about you, or do they stay silent? Are some of them a surprise?<br />
<br />
I got curious... so I actually asked. And yes - I am taking names. In fact, I would love for them to share a picture of themselves with my book. Why? So I can do a contest and one lucky winner will get something from me and they will also get the opportunity to send my book to a person of their choice. But more on that later. Right now I just want to know who has supported me.<br />
<br />
These supporters that create a buzz, and when you are a new artist, that is what you need. You need to create a buzz. So here is my chance to tell everybody who has supported me how much I appreciate you.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Thank you to all of those who have bought my book and shared it with your friends. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Thank you to all of those have created a buzz </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">about <span style="color: #cc0000;">"Mother's Day!"</span></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCoe5Y8zzzPH5fJ1OZ6DcDBBxEEBMNCGyZsbeWQNGy3SqI0RemXEP1xTuGNHrEsY3pHGauNvD9mA7oghYnVrWA8MguJ21Ws1aX9Ki1Z_ovw-NBKkMl_3txsdxmcP0zKTLTGwE4GO44p4/s1600/MothersDayKindleCover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCoe5Y8zzzPH5fJ1OZ6DcDBBxEEBMNCGyZsbeWQNGy3SqI0RemXEP1xTuGNHrEsY3pHGauNvD9mA7oghYnVrWA8MguJ21Ws1aX9Ki1Z_ovw-NBKkMl_3txsdxmcP0zKTLTGwE4GO44p4/s320/MothersDayKindleCover.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-89641771394475342932013-06-03T14:54:00.000-07:002013-06-03T14:54:05.385-07:00Music Monday: I'm So ExcitedI know it has been awhile since I have done a Music Monday post, but yesterday I got this song stuck in my head and I just couldn't get it out. I thought I would share...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/St3nh75tRrM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
There is a big reason why this song is stuck in my head, and frankly, if you could see me right now, you would notice that I haven't stopped jumping up and down since yesterday afternoon. I walked out on a ledge and took a chance. I really wasn't sure what was going to happen, so I walked into a local book store more nervous than a person afraid of heights jumping out of a plane and I asked a question.<br />
<br />
"I am a new self-published author and I was wondering, how do I get my book on your shelves?"<br />
<br />
Instead of being turned away or told to buy a book and do some research, I was given a phone number by one of the store owners and told how excited they get to promote local artists.<br />
<br />
<h3>
<b>JACKPOT</b>!!</h3>
<br />
To make it even better, this gentleman used to do marketing for Borders and gave me all sorts of ideas on what I need to do to market myself and my book. How far I take this is completely up to me, however, as any writer knows, information is gold and I don't think I could ever repay this gentleman for the insight he has given me in the short 15 minutes I talked to him.<br />
<br />
So I better get to it. I got some marketing to do while I dance away to the song playing in my head. I couldn't have planned this out better if I tried!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-48453368234944607722013-05-31T16:49:00.001-07:002013-05-31T16:49:50.583-07:00Where did the year go?Today is the last day of school for my daughters. It seems like only yesterday school was starting... now we are getting ready for summer.<br />
<br />
Here is Southern California, the temps are starting to crawl up into the triple digits. It is hot.<br />
<br />
I don't do well in the heat.<br />
<br />
Our pool isn't ready yet.<br />
<br />
Today I got burnt in less than 2 minutes.<br />
<br />
The kids are probably going to drive me mad...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPid3P2TJTU0MpRjYQBhGx82_Lic-tpospOjh7cdidODqWlM8ySh13i7-GcSCQlCXSA5BV-FAdQSagd_wgiWkho3xxZdfDo-otldt3yB31j_csTzEtwN7rk_9Ysqnmrt3cOytkqjIvkHs/s1600/Ramblings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPid3P2TJTU0MpRjYQBhGx82_Lic-tpospOjh7cdidODqWlM8ySh13i7-GcSCQlCXSA5BV-FAdQSagd_wgiWkho3xxZdfDo-otldt3yB31j_csTzEtwN7rk_9Ysqnmrt3cOytkqjIvkHs/s200/Ramblings.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
Guess just because it is summer doesn't mean things really change. At least next Monday I will get to sleep in.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-75440411201583211002013-05-28T15:21:00.003-07:002013-05-28T15:21:58.838-07:00Finding my Brand<h3>
Writing a book was the easy part....</h3>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCoe5Y8zzzPH5fJ1OZ6DcDBBxEEBMNCGyZsbeWQNGy3SqI0RemXEP1xTuGNHrEsY3pHGauNvD9mA7oghYnVrWA8MguJ21Ws1aX9Ki1Z_ovw-NBKkMl_3txsdxmcP0zKTLTGwE4GO44p4/s1600/MothersDayKindleCover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Mother's Day, book, winged heart in child's hands" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCoe5Y8zzzPH5fJ1OZ6DcDBBxEEBMNCGyZsbeWQNGy3SqI0RemXEP1xTuGNHrEsY3pHGauNvD9mA7oghYnVrWA8MguJ21Ws1aX9Ki1Z_ovw-NBKkMl_3txsdxmcP0zKTLTGwE4GO44p4/s320/MothersDayKindleCover.jpg" title="" width="200" /></a><br />
Never thought I would say that in my life. After what seemed like forever, I finally hit the "Approve" button and my book was out in the big, wide, evil, cruel world for review.<br />
<br />
Ok - it was no longer for review. It was up for grabs for anybody who was curious enough to spend a few hours reading it and a few bucks buying it... but that also meant it was up for critique. People could love it - or they could hate it!<br />
<br />
<h3>
What would people say?</h3>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I was so nervous....</blockquote>
<br />
Sure, we all have people who will never fail to buy what ever you write regardless of how bad it is or how good it is. It is the strangers we have to be careful of. We need to wrap our hearts and our minds with a Teflon coating so we don't get burned.<br />
<br />
<h3>
And that was when I ran into a wall.....</h3>
<br />
I was so excited to have finally hit publish. I knew I wasn't going to become an instant millionaire... and probably maybe not even a best selling author... at least yet. What I wasn't aware of, was how hard it would be to actually get someone to buy my book.<br />
<br />
A few short lonely books later, I was wondering where were the critiques? The people slamming me under the bus because they hated it. Where was the love? The people who told everybody about it until they were blue in the face.<br />
<br />
<h3>
I guess that means you have to sell some books.</h3>
<br />
Now don't get me wrong. This is not a pity party. I have already sold a handful of books and the people who have invested the time in it to read Mother's Day, can't seem to put it down. So it must be good. At least that is what I am getting from the feedback.<br />
<br />
The problem is, I need to brand it. I need to make people want to buy the book. I need them to realize they can't live another day without purchasing my book. I need to find a way to convince them there is something in it for them.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Frankly, how the hell do I do that?</h3>
<div>
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>If you would like a copy of Mother's Day, the book I completed for Nanowrimo, click <a href="https://www.createspace.com/4277258" target="_blank">here </a>for the paperback. If you would like the Kindle version, click <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Mothers-Day-ebook/dp/B00CS74QOY/ref=sr_sp-atf_title_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369779608&sr=8-1&keywords=Mother%27s+Day%2C+Stacy+Harris" target="_blank">here</a>.</i></blockquote>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-62963876223400050322013-05-24T12:15:00.001-07:002013-05-24T12:15:50.215-07:00I Have Nothing To SayIt seems I have used up my creative energy.<br />
<br />
I have been actively trying to blog more, but it isn't working. I can't focus. I don't know what to write. So I sit and ponder. I play some games. I try to think so more. And then I realize I wasted all day and have nothing to show for it.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAXnuW_LGhzJ5Vv4Fc7EN9my4ogeqh5fV2N_Oiq9oivXEZBqkfAWwUrQFb0L3CgTdTtFzQZMazNnneHUFUNdSwPNfyblnWT12PqsKUCZv1-Ox63IWnBjFj_qM0bBRrFVxOxr6ZuXTRq70/s1600/Mopping+floor.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="cleaning, mopping, clean house" border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAXnuW_LGhzJ5Vv4Fc7EN9my4ogeqh5fV2N_Oiq9oivXEZBqkfAWwUrQFb0L3CgTdTtFzQZMazNnneHUFUNdSwPNfyblnWT12PqsKUCZv1-Ox63IWnBjFj_qM0bBRrFVxOxr6ZuXTRq70/s200/Mopping+floor.JPG" title="" width="200" /></a>I have even used cleaning as a means to escape my head, hoping to come up with something exciting and new to write about.<br />
<br />
That hasn't worked either.<br />
<br />
If it did, this post might be a whole lot more entertaining than it already is. It might actually have substance. You might make to the end and think, "Now that was an AHA moment and I am glad I stayed!"<br />
<br />
But I can't promise that. In fact, I think I am going to go clean. But my house is already clean so I can't even do that. So needless to say, I sit here with nothing to say.<br />
<br />
Yet here is the problem. I know why my lack of writing is plaguing me. It is because I have a lot to say. I just don't know how to say it.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB4uFNeOANJgweP3oT58IR7BMNPcISdducHedCA7X-PnDvOLQSzTvll-rDt_6IQtKZ4IbKghqjnrs7JCmrLe6qe2IMB9wT2umSIY2KIo1BA3UbP67aGYvMYHk9CD8gS0jnBqmDuuQ_IEg/s1600/Whispering-Secrets.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="telling secrets, lots of stuff to say, how do I tell you" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB4uFNeOANJgweP3oT58IR7BMNPcISdducHedCA7X-PnDvOLQSzTvll-rDt_6IQtKZ4IbKghqjnrs7JCmrLe6qe2IMB9wT2umSIY2KIo1BA3UbP67aGYvMYHk9CD8gS0jnBqmDuuQ_IEg/s320/Whispering-Secrets.jpg" title="" width="290" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I have lots of things to say. I am just not sure<br />how to go about saying it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I want to talk about what is irritating me, I want to talk about my book, I want to talk about my lack of motivation for my workouts, I want to talk about how my medication has made me fat, I want to talk about how I still don't trust doctors so I stopped taking my medication because I think the weight is worse for me than what I needed the medication for, I want to talk about the sleep study I had which probably won't give any results because it was the best night of sleep I had gotten in months, I want to talk about the end of school, I want to talk about the lack of bus transportation that is already causing me stress wondering how I am going to time both kids getting to school at the right time, I want to talk about how my son just dropped a whole bag of M&M's on the floor and it is driving me crazy because I know I will find a missing one <br />
sometime down the road, I want to talk about my new iPhone 5 and how Suri doesn't tolerate you swearing at here, I want to talk about how irritated I am that Emily Owens, MD. was cancelled, I want to talk about how I taught myself Fur Elise on the Piano, I want to talk about the potential of a zombie apocalypse, I want to talk about how life really would be more enjoyable if it was a musical, and I also want to talk about how much I am missing my family and friends back home.<br />
<br />
See... even when I have nothing to say, I seem to really have a lot to say. I just can't seem to get it all out. And until I really get out what is plaguing me, I will continue to feel like I have nothing to say.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-21121163918169860362013-05-20T15:43:00.000-07:002013-05-20T15:43:09.585-07:00Music Monday: Whistle While You WorkToday is a busy one. Not that there is ever a day that goes by that I am not busy. I got a massive amount of scrubbing and cleaning to do... after all, it has been neglected over the last few months. I have homework to do; end of school activities; washing my hair; working out; picking my nose and picking my blog post. Mostly though, I have to start coming up with marketing strategies for my book Mother's Day.<br />
<br />
If you thought writing a book was hard, try getting the word to spread like wildfire. So, as I step into the beginnings of the marketing process, I am just going to have to Whistle While I Work... seems like the perfect song for Music Monday!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/mIwa9sPFT5I?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-83242423879037585422013-05-15T14:38:00.001-07:002013-05-15T14:38:26.861-07:00Wordless Wednesday: Cool in the PoolIt has not been cool lately. In fact, it is creeping dangerously close to the triple digits. We aren't even out of May yet....<br />
<br />
Yes... I am well aware that it is Southern California. I am also well aware that it is a dry heat. However, so is an oven and you don't see me sticking my head in there.<br />
<br />
Needless to say... I am looking forward to putting the pool up this coming weekend!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTVT-gN_TcfTwQDsrv6lASywP_nRqVKezY2il-qkx4ACemHxbI4Wl0QliSZCiRIA3ZZRXanC2Phjvrj4BqxFZrkN7BsdrSLZ2KJ5SITt34Q7KgDSgYFWqgfwbUFafmwHR9Sxp4tVS0NmI/s1600/Cool+in+the+Pool.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="cool in the pool, swimming, pool set up" border="0" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTVT-gN_TcfTwQDsrv6lASywP_nRqVKezY2il-qkx4ACemHxbI4Wl0QliSZCiRIA3ZZRXanC2Phjvrj4BqxFZrkN7BsdrSLZ2KJ5SITt34Q7KgDSgYFWqgfwbUFafmwHR9Sxp4tVS0NmI/s320/Cool+in+the+Pool.jpg" title="" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Help! I can't swim!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If you would like to participate in Wordless Wednesday, check out my friend Cyndi at <a href="http://pictimilitude.com/" target="_blank">Pictimilitude </a>for submission guidelines.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-72378958645982065342013-05-14T16:07:00.004-07:002013-05-14T16:07:37.706-07:00Hello... I thought I would stop by and say hi.<br />
<br />
I know, it has been a while. Sometimes I even wondered if anybody missed me. But I have a good excuse as to why I haven't been around. It's a darn good excuse.<br />
<h2>
<b>I wrote a book!</b></h2>
Let me tell you, it was hard work. I spent hours staring at the computer editing until my eyes went blurry. There were days when I would wear the same clothes... just so the laundry didn't pile up. I don't remember the last logical conversation I had with my husband, my kids might be figments of my imagination, and soon it might no longer be an undiagnosed mad woman state, since I have nearly lost my mind!<br />
<br />
I am sure it will be worth it in the end. Actually, I am not sure, I know it will be! After all, my book is published and available for anybody to read. Hope you take the chance to check it out by clicking <a href="https://www.createspace.com/4277258" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCoe5Y8zzzPH5fJ1OZ6DcDBBxEEBMNCGyZsbeWQNGy3SqI0RemXEP1xTuGNHrEsY3pHGauNvD9mA7oghYnVrWA8MguJ21Ws1aX9Ki1Z_ovw-NBKkMl_3txsdxmcP0zKTLTGwE4GO44p4/s1600/MothersDayKindleCover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFCoe5Y8zzzPH5fJ1OZ6DcDBBxEEBMNCGyZsbeWQNGy3SqI0RemXEP1xTuGNHrEsY3pHGauNvD9mA7oghYnVrWA8MguJ21Ws1aX9Ki1Z_ovw-NBKkMl_3txsdxmcP0zKTLTGwE4GO44p4/s320/MothersDayKindleCover.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<h2>
So what's next?</h2>
That is the big question I have as well. I fear I might actually have too much time on my hands that I don't know what to do with myself.<br />
<br />
Naw... that will never happen. I have kids and summer is just around the corner.<br />
<br />
Sadly, time will always be short because I like to stay busy. But now that I have cleared off a really big task, I will have more time for my family, my schoolwork, and my chores. I will be back to blogging and catching up with my fellow bloggers as well.<br />
<br />
Ok - so who am I kidding. I am already working on my next book! This one is going to be about zombies. No worries though - I haven't put myself under a strict deadline yet! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-70011214839037547392013-04-30T15:02:00.000-07:002013-04-30T15:02:06.593-07:00My Phone Call With Google<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Google and I have been fighting.</b></span><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk3F0oqCCHYR1ZH4-RwNcoxZujqRbtMz3RYgW9XyvvnjJL3y4J95D6v3uxXfKX2xHGF-uonDFylrE_06CCihKCDh5GCzzd-h3-Jr0FqDnuqyHUMBnF12cjJhM4ft_jzcnq9zd1ph0vZPg/s1600/working+out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="funny workout picture, working out. strengthening my muscles" border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk3F0oqCCHYR1ZH4-RwNcoxZujqRbtMz3RYgW9XyvvnjJL3y4J95D6v3uxXfKX2xHGF-uonDFylrE_06CCihKCDh5GCzzd-h3-Jr0FqDnuqyHUMBnF12cjJhM4ft_jzcnq9zd1ph0vZPg/s200/working+out.jpg" title="" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I have been working out. Google better watch out!<br />I am ready for them!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I have never fought like this with Google before, in fact, I would rather stay on good terms with them. After all, Google is kind of like the parent and I, as a blogger, am like the child. Whatever Google says goes and I am stuck with their decision.<br />
<br />
<b>So - you are probably wondering what went happened?</b><br />
<br />
Well, at the end of March, I woke up to the nastygram saying there was invalid activity going on with my account.<br />
<br />
WTF!!!!<br />
<br />
I was nearly in shock. I thought I was going to cry. And then I remember, I don't really care because my writing is about my writing, not necessarily the money I make from my blog. So if you are wondering why I have been absent lately, it has nothing to do with my Google Adsense ban.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I have tried to be nice and calm about the situation, appealing to the Google Gods. Only, it doesn't matter what I say or do, I just get a canned message back.<br />
<br />
<b>Do they think I am stupid??</b><br />
<br />
If you message me back within 4 hours, I can pretty much guess you did nothing to evaluate my account.<br />
<br />
This of course went on through the course of several different appeals. I know they say one shot is all you have, but I like to be annoying. So, what does it take for me to sit down and write them a letter every single day until I get some attention. Not a whole lot of time, in comparison of where I could waste it elsewhere. (Do you notice how much I update Facebook?)<br />
<br />
Well, I got sick of remembering to write to them, and I got sick of trying to reword the facts so it sounds like I am coming up with new evidence. However, I don't have any new evidence. I don't know what might have caused them to see invalid activity.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_6xWoyaMfoG9JsXpAPmvXf4ZNLdCNW8XNyLrqWskN1CkC-wCsREZxIaW3-EyRcQwoCyQAGbR-qFmPympUSdi2VOFG8Yfw4RQyIkdy7pMq7JhimApFJZQCPae843-VU3EKYok4iB9W7wg/s1600/Jan+3%252C+2100+012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="money, spare change, change, counting change" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_6xWoyaMfoG9JsXpAPmvXf4ZNLdCNW8XNyLrqWskN1CkC-wCsREZxIaW3-EyRcQwoCyQAGbR-qFmPympUSdi2VOFG8Yfw4RQyIkdy7pMq7JhimApFJZQCPae843-VU3EKYok4iB9W7wg/s320/Jan+3%252C+2100+012.JPG" title="" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Good-bye spare change. I probably<br />won't get to spend you anymore.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This is what I do know though. At the beginning of March, I started to actively promote my blog. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of spam comments coming in. I turned on Captcha to deter the <br />
spam. My traffic tanked. Right after I did that, Google took away my account.<br />
<br />
Days later, I found out my writings have been being copied on other websites. So yeah - how happy does that make me? I can't make money off of my stuff, but other people can copy it and at least make money. Google frowns at duplicate content.<br />
<br />
However, it doesn't matter how much I study the stats, I can't seem to find anything that jumps out as unusual.<br />
<br />
And Google... well they are equivalent to a parent saying... "Because I said so."<br />
<br />
They are a bully. That is really what it comes down to. If any of the small guys start making money, they quickly do an update to change those numbers. If people click on your ads, even though the ads are matched toward what they should be interested in, Google will call you out for fraud. Why - because God forbid if the advertisers have to actually pay for their advertising!<br />
<br />
So as a small fish in a big ocean, I am the little guy, barely making pennies, and they choose me to lay down their wrath. So while I actually care very little about the money, I have this problem of wanting to know.<br />
<br />
So right now, I am sitting on the phone, calling Google. I waited on hold for 30 minutes before accidentally hanging up the first time. The second time....<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDr2gLdwtxyfDUhqIaXp9yKHTu1vMAsSf_WtlQMrS_0i5gciHFgB661z5lZZlj0blu5gMFs5VxhZthT65j88TJyzP7uEZDSIypPv3-gkJUxnGWwX926CeI7Eu8U84VfMDWOou_ndt9oAo/s1600/Sitting+on+Hold.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="sitting on hold, phone call, waiting" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDr2gLdwtxyfDUhqIaXp9yKHTu1vMAsSf_WtlQMrS_0i5gciHFgB661z5lZZlj0blu5gMFs5VxhZthT65j88TJyzP7uEZDSIypPv3-gkJUxnGWwX926CeI7Eu8U84VfMDWOou_ndt9oAo/s320/Sitting+on+Hold.jpg" title="" width="269" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If I knew this was going to be such an exciting<br />date, I might have gotten up and tried to<br />look presentable. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
.... well, I have already been on hold for an hour and a half.<br />
<br />
What can I say... I don't give up easily!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-59469184237475691432013-04-24T15:02:00.001-07:002013-04-24T15:02:42.468-07:00Brain Drain: Online Education Does NOT Equal EasyMany of you (ok - maybe only my imaginary friends) may have been wondering where I have been hiding lately.<br />
<br />
Truth is, I haven't been hiding. I have been right in front of you this whole time. However, I have recently decided to go back to school to get my degree, and let me tell you, it is exhausting work.<br />
<br />
As if I wasn't busy before. Now, not only do I still have all my wifely and motherly duties, and my nearly impossible deadline set to have my book <i>Mother's Day</i> to be published May 12, 2013. (Yes - I know - publishing a book called <i>Mother's Day</i> on Mother's Day. I couldn't resist!), I have added a "fast-paced, no hold backs" online course to my full plate.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHcr5yqxbpSpHKsMQEQimXfwGkPKc8PwpMuzpdtK6pkr0E_qgHC-5PHZrtBiF0Zr5cvg9X0dFsOJtqdDM_Uzi8zvcvymOgbmqWgXc6F3Bd-BUpry7IW733mfmJkuUWYalLYhFhu1Ef9Ts/s1600/alarm_clock_10%255B1%255D.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="clock, time, never enough time" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHcr5yqxbpSpHKsMQEQimXfwGkPKc8PwpMuzpdtK6pkr0E_qgHC-5PHZrtBiF0Zr5cvg9X0dFsOJtqdDM_Uzi8zvcvymOgbmqWgXc6F3Bd-BUpry7IW733mfmJkuUWYalLYhFhu1Ef9Ts/s200/alarm_clock_10%255B1%255D.gif" title="" width="177" /></a>I have often times heard many people describe online courses as easy. Being that this isn't the first time I have taken an online course, I already knew what I was getting into. But when you are actually doing it, you forget how much time is actually used up by the sheer amount of reading, researching, and writing you must do. In fact, online courses are actually harder because you need to be more accountable for your work, and even teaching yourself.<br />
<br />
I know finishing my degree is the right thing to do. I only wish I would have started it sooner, so I didn't have to waste some of my valuable Veteran's Benefits that will expire before I get a chance to completely exhaust them. But in the end, I know finishing my schooling will be the right thing for me.<br />
<br />
Getting back into the swing of things has been difficult. It is the first class I have taken in several years. I am not used to studying, I am not used to writing thesis statements, and I certainly not used to those exciting textbooks with 300 pages worth of material to memorize.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJlM8yNQmijNLv5WK3ufa1F6VHZUKcEHWpXCi2i5Y_g2effONQaJODmi8YJUsKXJpblnDlRnGHR50pQo6qkUMGa0MC30NszOfFPqGEQ5wqSq5sz31xQ7y-vqzD_msRHrfq1vVVL3sdwkY/s1600/BrainFart.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Brain drain, brain fart, tired brain" border="0" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJlM8yNQmijNLv5WK3ufa1F6VHZUKcEHWpXCi2i5Y_g2effONQaJODmi8YJUsKXJpblnDlRnGHR50pQo6qkUMGa0MC30NszOfFPqGEQ5wqSq5sz31xQ7y-vqzD_msRHrfq1vVVL3sdwkY/s200/BrainFart.jpeg" title="" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When your brain seems drained,<br />even those tasks that often seemed<br />simple become difficult, like writing<br />a blog post.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I have been falling behind in my blogging, I have been falling behind in my online networking, I have just fallen behind.<br />
<br />
So, if you have been wondering where I've been lately, I am still around. But I have found between my book and schooling and family, most of my time has been sucked up. Not to mention, after all the mental tasks I have had to do lately, my brain is drained.<br />
<br />
Even writing this blog post was difficult!<br />
<br />
Just know, I will be back and I will be smarter. Ok - maybe just more sarcastic due to being tired. But hey - at least that means I've gotten something out of school.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724867472090979746.post-60568177406334419912013-04-12T13:44:00.000-07:002013-04-12T13:44:05.371-07:00Words Mean EverythingAs many of you may already know, I have been working hard (or hardly working) on my book that I have planned to release to people everywhere on May 12, 2013. On top of that, I have also returned to school... mainly because I want to make it sound like I am smart on my author page. (No one said it had to be a good reason!)<br />
<br />
Needless to say, I realized I was coming up on crunch time. Between my book, my blog, and my school work, I knew I needed to get cracking.<br />
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So yesterday, I decided to open my book again to make edits from the suggestions of my beta readers. It is a tedious process. I feel like I am looking at a million computer screens and trying to condense them into one valid document.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc7-v739pRVaEHoTi-ftwBdY6bnjzWk2pKEckhEouj62F9TjpPypONIvPNxM_Dmka0rzD6tp-I7BMQpowO4PuY8QnlEr0r_pbYaVuK9p9MZvcjgBGYwugffdWo6MajeJek72-S_t1jC4Y/s1600/Editing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="editing, working, computer work, laptop" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc7-v739pRVaEHoTi-ftwBdY6bnjzWk2pKEckhEouj62F9TjpPypONIvPNxM_Dmka0rzD6tp-I7BMQpowO4PuY8QnlEr0r_pbYaVuK9p9MZvcjgBGYwugffdWo6MajeJek72-S_t1jC4Y/s320/Editing.jpg" title="Mother's Day editing phase" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Working between a printed copy and a<br />computer copy is enough to make anyone<br />want to take a nap!</td></tr>
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Ok - it really isn't that bad. But I do have to keep looking from hard copy to laptop. Pain in the butt.<br />
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And it's a daunting task. It might even be more daunting then writing the damn book. After all, I didn't know how far I was going until I got there. Now, as I sit on page 35... I noticed there is still 378 pages left.<br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"><b>That number 413 keeps flashing at me. </b></span></div>
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Once I got into the swing of things, it wasn't really all that bad. And the reality is, I only need to do 22 pages a day to be ready for the final read through on May 1st!<br />
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But meanwhile, it can't be all work and no play. That is when I started to realize how funny it is to look back at my work with a fresh pair of eyes. After all, when it comes to your own work sometimes it can be hard to pick out things that are just wrong.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHynXwiaXB4VEWy-erp931wl0IDwXTtmoakmsBghupG6JCNFnACBumOJP_vUdXDj6ZWkVXAlOEvTJF-vk9aVcaTJukvNsWjyo4vErq9VwkZlMnx7oD7rPH5VQHvEXWwUxcUBXToMSVDAM/s1600/eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHynXwiaXB4VEWy-erp931wl0IDwXTtmoakmsBghupG6JCNFnACBumOJP_vUdXDj6ZWkVXAlOEvTJF-vk9aVcaTJukvNsWjyo4vErq9VwkZlMnx7oD7rPH5VQHvEXWwUxcUBXToMSVDAM/s320/eyes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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In this case... I realized that my main character likes to run around commando, sans undies, freebuffing, going regimental.... although it wasn't really my intention.<br />
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The reality is, when you are writing, you need to describe everything. In this case, I would describe her as finishing up her shower and throwing on a pair of pants. Most people would assume she is wearing her undergarments, but I can't assume here. So, I have to read it like it is. She doesn't wear underwear.<br />
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I don't know about you... but I think my main character would be a lot more comfy in her undies!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03023339201867111342noreply@blogger.com10