Thursday, December 20, 2012

Text Message Confusion

It is Thursday. My husband is at work. The two older kids are at school. And that leaves me at home with the little boy packing up everything that didn't get done last night so we can leave for our trip back to Wisconsin as soon as my husband gets off of work.

We are driving. It will take us roughly 40 hours. Many people call us insane. This time around though we are well prepared. I baked some mini muffins and bagged them. Got some gold fish and bagged them. Threw in a few granola bars and some fruit snacks, a small container of peanut butter and some jam.

That's when I realized we had a problem. I am not about to lose my silverware on the road. I need a plastic knife to spread the peanut butter. Knowing that my husband has mentioned before that he has used the plastic silverware at his work, I wondered if they would have some knives available for us to borrow. (Ok - I am not giving them back. But are they really going to miss a couple?)

So naturally, because he is working, I text him to ask. This is the result of that one very simple question.

Me: Does your work have plastic silverware?

Husband: Yes. Want me to grab some?

(Impressed - conversation is going well so far...)

Me: We just need knives... Thought we had some but apparently I don't buy variety packs anymore... will make peanut butter spreading difficult without a knife.

(Is it the dot dot dot that starts the confusion?)

Husband: Hahaha, I'll grab some on the way out.

Me: Cool grab a few so we don't have to clean them off and reuse

Husband: Eating

Me: Huh

Husband: And reading

(Did I ask you what you were doing?)

Me: Huh... What you said makes no sense in reference to our conversation...

Husband: Only part of it went through. It was supposed to say knifes for eating pb&j and reading. Yep, eating and reading.

(Am I the only one confused?)

Me: Huh... Don't get reading part

Husband: Our Kindles

Me: What does that have to do with knives...

Husband: Making the PB & Js

(Like the capitalization makes it MAKE sense!)

Me: No shit what does pb&j have to do with kindles?

Husband: Hahaha, making the sandwiches with the knife, eating them while we are driving and reading our kindles while doing it.

(He will SO not be driving and reading his Kindle at the same time!)

Me: Your dumb!

Husband: I know.

Note: This was indeed an actual text message conversation between my husband and I. No punctuation or spelling has been changed for the most dramatic effect. 


  1. I think guys actually go to a texting class where they are taught and rewarded handsomely for confusing the wife at the other end.

    I've seen texts my husband has exchanged with his boss and other mechanics. They make sense and no one is confused. But when it comes to sending me a text, I NEVER know where the conversation will end up. And I'm usually the one left scratching my head and asking WTF?!

  2. haha...I just finished reading the autocorrect buzzfeed and then I come to your blog.

    So, the conclusion is that: blame the autocorrect

    have a great tip, Stacy

  3. oh! I meant great

    This is gotta blame the christmasy season ;)

  4. Okay well that was funny...but are you NUTS? You guys are driving??? Holy crap I hope you blog about that. In fact, do you have a phone with the Blogger app? Get one. I want to hear about this road trip of yours!

  5. HAHAHA. I know ALL about driving across the country and packing all sorts of food and crap to snack on. And the plastic utensils? Oh yeah, we forgot those on our last trip out to CO over thanksgiving, lol. Have fun!

  6. The trouble with texting is that no one totally concentrates on it. It usually creates confusion as people take things differently, and only remember part of what they've read. My wife thinks it too confusing, which is a blessing! lol I love driving and envy your trip. Let me rephrase that, I love driving alone and envy your trip. There's a peace about being with oneself, listening to music, seeing uncommon sights (like interstate rest stop bathrooms and exit signs with different city names) that make it totally interesting. But, where's the M&M's? You've got to have M&M's to throw at each other as you travel down the highway. Hope you have a safe trip!

  7. Oh my goodness!! This sounds like one of those conversations Geoff and I have sometimes via text. It's so annoying! So much easier to just pick up the phone, but I like texting because you can put all those silly faces and things in. 40 hours sounds INSANE. I thought 12 - 15 hours was! Hope you have a fun road trip and get there safely. Those snacky things look so goood! ;)


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