I have been writing online for awhile. The money I make, well, can almost afford my family a night out at McDonald's once a month. Needless to say, I wouldn't give up this hobby for anything, even though I feel like sometimes I put more into it than what I get out.
I started to stress a little bit when this whole writing thing started to become a "job", or at least something that resembled a job. The long hours, the constant need to make sure I kept my followers happy, the constant pressure of trying to come up with ideas. I realized the stress began shortly after I received my first payout.
YEAH - I am rich! Where's the celebration! Oh - nevermind, I can't afford the party! It was only 50 bucks and it took me forever just to earn that!
Well, when I managed to get two payouts in a row, I was psyched. I started envisioning myself as a paid writer and I started imagining all the stuff I could do with this cash that I was earning from a hobby. I might be able to pay for vacations; pay off bills; put money into savings...
So I started to push it. I wanted to make sure I could write and read and keep the earnings up. Well, I also realized the more I pushed, the less I wanted to write. To me that felt funny because I have never felt the lack of "want" when it came to writing. I always wanted to write. I was once told I could interview a tree and make it sound interesting. Yet suddenly, I have nothing to write about.
It is a funny thing to think about but I do believe I actually got burned out by a hobby!
So when it came to opening up my own blog, I procrastinated. Why? Well that is an easy question to answer. If I couldn't come up with something to write on Hubpages, how would I ever manage to update a blog regularly enough to actually get a following. I know a blog is a lot of work. And if you are serious about it, it isn't something you can do only once in a great while. It takes a lot of time and a lot of ideas and it all needs to be mixed together in an interesting enough way that people crave it regularly. I procrastinated because I was screwed. I didn't know if I could do it. I was out of ideas and I was already busy.
So yesterday I accidentally opened a blog. I was just seeing if I had to use the name I have become known by - Barbergirl28 - or if I could change the name to what I really wanted - Ramblings Of An Undiagnosed Mad Woman. If I couldn't go with the name I had been planning on using for the last two years, I wasn't going to do it. I just wasn't going to make that leap. And it just happened. I started my blog. I guess it was meant to be.
So I spent a good portion of time playing around with the settings and making the headline graphic. I was trying to make it pretty! (I am still getting the hang of this so bear with me!) And since I opened the blog, I started becoming intoxicated with all these ideas. Suddenly, I felt like writing again. I had to refrain myself. After all, I didn't want to do 100 postings on the first day!
Then I realized what had been happening all along. This writer's block I have been dealing with was purely because of the pressure for writing for Hubpages. Don't get me wrong. I don't plan on quitting. However, this "blog" type writing is what I have always been about.
I don't want to feel the stress of wondering if Hubpages wouldn't approve of my article. I don't want to worry about getting the proper keywords so I can eventually hit payout. I want to write. It is simple as that. And while that might mean I get pennies to the dollar, I am fine with that. After all, I love to write and the added stress was starting to take away the very thing I used as my "Getaway!"
With that realization suddenly I felt much lighter. It was as if the Writer's Block had been completely lifted off of my shoulders!
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