Thursday, September 27, 2012

Disconnected from the Digital World - Oh no were is my Internet

What - No Internet! That is enough to make
anybody mad!
We have been living in our house for the last year. That being said, we have come to the decision it was time to change service providers for our TV and Internet. When we first moved in we went with the provider who could provide us the quickest and best price. I have kids and frankly, I NEEDED access to cartoons or I would lose my sanity! At the time, it was Time Warner Cable.

However, over the last year, my husband and I began to loathe their services. More often then I care to admit, our service has been dropped because of a mess up on their end. So many times have I felt that I was living back in the stone age, half expecting to hear the "Pshhhkkkkkkrrrrkaking kakingkakingtshchchchchchchchcch
dingdingding"  from the internet dialing up. (At times - it really was that slow. Dial up might have been the cheaper - and maybe even faster - option!) And don't even get me started on the TV services, which meant I had a huge compilation of all these channels, yet their was only about a handful even useful. Yep - I was paying for the same channel to be displayed 5 different times - regular, HD, spanish, spanish HD, and maybe an extra language I didn't understand and possibly one in hieroglyphics. And the final strike - they didn't even have the ability to broadcast the Packer games!

Ok - so I am probably exaggerating just a little. We all know how it goes... a million channels and yet not a thing on! And even more honestly, other than a handful of channels, what is on TV never really bothered me. I am more about the Internet anyway. (And did I mention how painfully slow it was!)

So on Tuesday, I decided to price out Verizon FIOS only to be twirled into a whirlwind domino effect. Suddenly, before I knew it, I was setting up an appointment to have everything set up. Oh my! I just wanted a quote. It was part of the plan anyway, it was just a matter of time.

So we all know what happens when they come over to turn on the internet and TV services. They turn off the services first. As someone who lives on the Internet - what was I going to do in that long long couple of hours. No Internet - No Cartoons - Oh MY! What is a girl to do?

And that is just what I asked... So I came up with an idea. 

Housekeeping was the first thing knocked off. Just because I was already being tortured by a lack of internet connection shouldn't mean I should have to pursue more torture by cleaning! (Ok - so my house was clean anyway!)

Taking a nap wasn't going to happen. HELLO - strange guy in the house and a two-year old on the run!

I thought about being crafty but let's be honest here... if you saw what happened yesterday... crafty didn't work. But I thought maybe I could get a hand on crocheting some cupcakes or something. (After all, that does sound more delicious than gloves!)

Last year I had the bright idea to teach myself guitar. A
year later, I am trying again. 
I even had plans of strumming away at my guitar. Yesterday I mastered a C. My fingers are still sore since I am still learning. But I can strum out a darn good impressive C!

Then I decided I should start working on my book. After all, a lack of an internet connection surely would keep me from getting distracted! And I really needed to find a good strong name for my main character. I already have one that I used, but I decided I hate it and it needs to be changed.

So, sounds like a big list of things I can do! Maybe this lack of having an internet wouldn't be so bad after all!

So now, let's see what really happened:

The Verizon FIOS guy rang the doorbell. I gave him a tour of the house so he could get to all the TVs connected and then I introduced him to my main computer. He got to work. I checked my phone. (Obviously being detached from the digital world was already tugging at me!)

So, no luck with the phone. Obviously my phone's Wi-Fi wasn't going to work with the internet being shut off! DUH! (Slap forehead here!)

These are pudding shots! Really, if you haven't tried them
yet, you really should. I have made them several times
and gotten alot of people hooked on them!
So, I sat down to complete the menu plan for this upcoming weekend's birthday party. I got the menu completed. I even wrote down the names of all the confirmed guests so I could guess how much food to make. I even wrote out all the drinks for the menu and mentally focused on how many pudding shots I myself would end up consuming! Then I mentally pictured making an Ass out of myself. (Note to self - don't make too many pudding shots!)

By this time, all this thought about food made me hungry... so I ate a banana! And then I feebly attempted to check Facebook on my phone again. Still not working! Stupid cellphones!

Then I went and looked back at my list and it was bugging me. I felt like my menu was missing something. Anybody who has been to my house for a party probably knows I either overdo everything, or don't do enough. I can never find that happy medium. So I started searching for something else to put out for my guests. However, after paging through about 5 cookbooks, nothing seemed appealing.

By this time, the Verizon FIOS guy was all done. He showed me how to work the TV! (Yep - I really do need instructions on how to use a remote!) And I jumped backed on the Internet to see how fast I could fly! And aside from making my menu plan and a short grocery shopping list, I didn't get anything done that I thought I could in that very long couple of hours!

Yep - it was torture - can't you tell?


  1. ...glad you wrote this Post, we having growing to hate the provider we have had for the last 15 years... sometimes channels don't work, month or 2 I have to un-plug the router, to empty the electrons out, I guess.
    But the real issue that has kept us with this bad romance is the fear of having to turn off connection out to the world (the virtual world, not the 'real' world)
    This Post helps us get closer to the day of getting into the 21st Centtury


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