Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I am a Writer

Today I had an epiphany! 

I was lazily sitting around not really in the mood to do anything this morning. I am going to blame it on my lack of coffee. But I knew I needed to get moving. So I set off to go for a walk with my boy and right as we started out, I ran into my neighbor.

They just moved in. And I am pretty giddy about this because they seem to have a lot in common with us. Since I am married, I no longer have to worry about being on the dating scene, which means I spend time scoping out the scene for new friends. So we started talking.

As the conversation ended and I continued on my walk, something struck me. When I explained what I did, I changed something.

It was easy to call myself a barber. Calling myself a writer
was a bit of a battle because I have made it out to be a
hobby. But the reality is, I am a writer!
Normally when people ask me what I do, I promptly answer that I stay home and raise the kids, but I am a trained cosmetologist/barber. Today, I didn't do that. While it naturally came across that I stay home with the kids, I actually introduced myself as a writer. I didn't even mention that I cut hair.

I have always said writers are a special breed of people. We think differently and with everything we do, we wonder how we could wrap that into some sort of story. I have always been like that in some way, more so now that I have actively been writing online for the last few years. And while I have always referred to myself as a writer, I have never really introduced myself as a writer.

So what is the change? I think I finally believe it. I finally believe in myself enough to call myself a writer.

I AM A WRITER!!!

Yes, that is right. I said it! Now let me explain.

I have always been a bit of an independent person. I don't want to have to depend on anyone else to take care of me. I want to be able to do it myself. So when I went from being a working mom to a stay at home mom, I fell into a bit of a slump. Why? Because I felt I wasn't doing anything to support myself.

Now my husband wouldn't agree with this. I was taking care of the kids. They need me and therefore his money was actually my money. Not to mention the cost of a babysitter would almost eat up my entire check. But a big part of me, while I would use his money to buy stuff for the kids and necessities for the family, would not use it to buy myself anything that could be considered extra or a luxury. I still felt this wasn't my money. My life was dependent on him!

But recently, I have started seeing that I am actually making money with my writing. And that is just the beginning. Soon, I will have my book published as well. So on top of my blog and my freelance writing, I will be a published author. Now I have wrote for newspapers before and I have had work put in magazines, so seeing my name in print is not new. But writing a book is.

So this is what I realized today. As I have spent the last couple of weeks stressing over what I could do to earn money, I realized all I was doing was stressing. And the more I stressed, the more I didn't want to do. Why? Because I felt that I wasn't good enough.

Today I realized I was. I said it out loud. I told someone that I am a writer.

And guess what.... I think I finally believed it!

Maybe that is what has been holding me back all this time. The fear that I wasn't good enough to move forward. I guess the first step to believing is admitting it to yourself. So if you have been having doubts on everything you have been doing online as a writer... say it with me...

I AM A WRITER!

Now the only thing you have left to do is believe!

11 comments:

  1. YES! I love this Stacy! And the picture of you "on top of the world" is awesome. :)

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  2. I, too, love this Stacy and you truly have given me a bit of faith in what I am doing today, because I think we all have those moments and love how you put it right out there. Good for you and I need to start saying and believing this about myself, too now :)

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  3. Very nice! I watched you kick nanowrimo's a-s-s, so I already knew you were a writer. I'm glad you know it now too! :D

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  4. Yes, YOU are a writer! It's funny because in the past when people would ask me what I do, I always used to say, I am TRYING to be a writer or I'm KIND OF a writer...I was too afraid or embarrassed to say it out loud. But ever since I've started blogging, I definitely feel more confident and the next time someone asks me, I'm going to say it: I'm a writer!!

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  5. I like this. I shared it.

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  6. Excellent, Stacy! :) As funny as this sounds, before I was a SAHM, my tax return has my profession as - "Technical Writer." Because that's how I used to make money. But now, I'm slowly realizing I'm still a writer...just not one that makes a lot of money at it. I guess as I see my name in magazines and that sort of thing, I'll start to believe it again.

    I'm glad you finally got over the hump that was holding you back. There will be NO stopping you now...well..except maybe the whole death of your coffee pot thing...

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  7. That's one freaking cool picture at the end there. Sharing this, too. I'm so glad you believe you're a writer because.you.are!

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  8. Love this. You are a writer. One of my pet peeves is when people say, "I'm an aspiring writer." What the heck is that? You either are--which means you're writing. Anything. Or you aren't. Which means you aren't writing. So. You are a writer. Write on.

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  9. Congrats Stacy! I have yet to say, "I'm a writer" yet, I feel a bit like an imposter, but you my friend, are most definitely a writer. Im' glad you identified as such!

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  10. oh yes, you are a writer and a good one!

    It sure feels good to make others raise their eyebrows since this breed is not existent around much.

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  11. YAY!!! Congratulations my friend! So happy for you. :)) Isn't it the best feeling? I've told people before, but was always embarrassed and spoke the word really softly. This weekend was the first time I proudly said, "I'm a writer". We've got a lot in common, and I think we're too hard on ourselves. Like you, I also felt like I wasn't contributing (esp. since we don't have kids). Having to ask for money is not something I'm comfortable with - especially after working for 11 years and earning a salary every month, but I'm getting there. I'm letting go of my pride, and I'm starting to earn some money...not much, but it's something, it's a start. I think your revelation calls for a celebration!! Toasting to you, cheers! xx

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