I am a Writer

Today I had an epiphany! 

I was lazily sitting around not really in the mood to do anything this morning. I am going to blame it on my lack of coffee. But I knew I needed to get moving. So I set off to go for a walk with my boy and right as we started out, I ran into my neighbor.

They just moved in. And I am pretty giddy about this because they seem to have a lot in common with us. Since I am married, I no longer have to worry about being on the dating scene, which means I spend time scoping out the scene for new friends. So we started talking.

As the conversation ended and I continued on my walk, something struck me. When I explained what I did, I changed something.

It was easy to call myself a barber. Calling myself a writer
was a bit of a battle because I have made it out to be a
hobby. But the reality is, I am a writer!

Normally when people ask me what I do, I promptly answer that I stay home and raise the kids, but I am a trained cosmetologist/barber. Today, I didn't do that. While it naturally came across that I stay home with the kids, I actually introduced myself as a writer. I didn't even mention that I cut hair.

I have always said writers are a special breed of people. We think differently and with everything we do, we wonder how we could wrap that into some sort of story. I have always been like that in some way, more so now that I have actively been writing online for the last few years. And while I have always referred to myself as a writer, I have never really introduced myself as a writer.

So what is the change? I think I finally believe it. I finally believe in myself enough to call myself a writer.

I AM A WRITER!!!

Yes, that is right. I said it! Now let me explain.

I have always been a bit of an independent person. I don't want to have to depend on anyone else to take care of me. I want to be able to do it myself. So when I went from being a working mom to a stay at home mom, I fell into a bit of a slump. Why? Because I felt I wasn't doing anything to support myself.

Now my husband wouldn't agree with this. I was taking care of the kids. They need me and therefore his money was actually my money. Not to mention the cost of a babysitter would almost eat up my entire check. But a big part of me, while I would use his money to buy stuff for the kids and necessities for the family, would not use it to buy myself anything that could be considered extra or a luxury. I still felt this wasn't my money. My life was dependent on him!

But recently, I have started seeing that I am actually making money with my writing. And that is just the beginning. Soon, I will have my book published as well. So on top of my blog and my freelance writing, I will be a published author. Now I have wrote for newspapers before and I have had work put in magazines, so seeing my name in print is not new. But writing a book is.

So this is what I realized today. As I have spent the last couple of weeks stressing over what I could do to earn money, I realized all I was doing was stressing. And the more I stressed, the more I didn't want to do. Why? Because I felt that I wasn't good enough.

Today I realized I was. I said it out loud. I told someone that I am a writer.

And guess what.... I think I finally believed it!

Maybe that is what has been holding me back all this time. The fear that I wasn't good enough to move forward. I guess the first step to believing is admitting it to yourself. So if you have been having doubts on everything you have been doing online as a writer... say it with me...

I AM A WRITER!

Now the only thing you have left to do is believe!