Flashback Friday: The Scale Doesn't Call You Beautiful

I was very relieved after yesterday's post, Passing on My Fate Genes. I actually thought I was going to get some sort of hate mail for sticking up for the Diet Mom and understanding her side to the story. But what I got was actually people who either agreed with me, or just didn't say anything.

Yet it still got me thinking. I don't want people to think that I am obsessed with losing weight or even that I am a "Fat" hater. I am not. I think people of all shapes and sizes are beautiful. It really is what is inside that counts.

Stop listening to your scale calling
you fat. It is only a tool.

When I was younger, I was the fat kid. I got teased for it ruthlessly. I eventually grew out of the baby fat, but I also became obsessed with my weight. I became obsessed with dieting. To me, I thought this was just a normal part of teenage life. But looking back, I wasn't fat. I was just blinded by what I thought I looked like.

This leads me to how I am today. I believe in exercise and eating right. But I also believe that you can't restrict yourself from a treat every once in awhile. I believe that you are almost 99% in control of what you look like, and therefore it is up to you to see the beauty inside. This has taken me many years to find out.

I will probably never get to my goal, and that is ok. After all, I am not in high school anymore and I have also had 3 kids. I enjoy the occasional treat and don't like obsessing over calorie counting. I hate that I can't always control the numbers on the scale. But mostly what I learned, is that the these tools that make us believe we are or we are not the "proper" size can only kill our self-esteem.

My kids see that I am in a habit of exercising daily (although lately I have been slacking). They have also seen me count calories and restrict treats. I have openly talked to them about why I have done what I have done. I recently lost 45 pounds and I feel much better now than I did before. I don't want to go back to that person. But I also don't want that person or the health obsessed person to dictate who my children become.
Mostly, I want them to have a healthy outlook on their life. I want them to love themselves. Because of that, we openly talk about healthy eating and the importance of exercise.

So for Flashback Friday, today I am featuring 

The Scale Doesn't Call You Beautiful.

I'm a Beautiful Blogger -- And So Are You!

Sunday was a rough day. 

My kids were so nervous!

The night before we drove an hour, through switchbacks, to get to the Pala Casino in Pala, California. My two oldest girls were doing a karate demonstration before a boxing event. It was awesome. But anybody that knows me, knows I hate driving through switchbacks or any kind of curvy roads with a steep drop off. The anxiety is enough to knock me out for days. However, because this was in a casino and only 2 out of my 3 kids were partaking, I had to get rid of the youngest. So he went to stay with grandma and grandpa for the night.

We got home late after I suffered through another hour drive. Ok - so the switchbacks really were only 5 or 6 miles long. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. But I knew that since we weren't picking up my son, I was going to get a chance to sleep in.

Ahhhh... the joy. 

Parenthood is ironic. Just as we have trained the oldest to be able to wake up and turn cartoons on to let us sleep in a little longer, I end up pregnant and the cycle starts all over again. But this time, I was going to get to sleep in. The two oldest could get up, make their own bowls of cereal, and watch TV or play. We could get up when we wanted because our little boy wasn't home.

Dreams are easily shattered... especially at 6 a.m. with the phone ringing. 

It was the dreaded call. My son had been awake all night and throwing up. Sunday was going to be a rough day.

So needless to say, when I found out I had won another award, I was ecstatic. It truly made my day since I was woken up early after getting to bed late, was dealing with a sick kid, and I am not going to lie, but I have been in a bit of a funk since I finished my book for NaNoWriMo.

I have been awarded The Beautiful Blogger Award! YEAH!

Now I can't thank Janine, from Janine's Confession's of a Mommyaholic, enough for spotlighting me in this prestigious award. Janine is a fellow blogger/writer and mommy, who I have come to know through the most awesome Facebook Group Bloppy Bloggers. She was one of the first bloggers I came to know when I started on my blogging journey and immediately there was a connection. We seemed so similar, in the stuff we propose on our blog and even the way we write. Who knows... maybe when we both become millionaire bloggers, we will get a chance to meet, since she lives all the way on the other side of the country! So don't hesitate.. go check her out!

So without further hesitation... if you get this award... this is what you got to do!

1. Post The Beautiful Blogger logo in your post and on your blog. Your beautiful so go ahead and show it off!

2. Thank the person who nominated you. (Janine - you are amazing! I am truly honored that out of all the bloggers you picked me! And you would have been one of my choices as well!)

3. Tell 7 facts about yourself that others may not know. (Oh no - is there anything left to tell! I will try though but excuse me if you already knew the stuff!)

4. Nominate other bloggers for the award and let them know!

Seven things About Me that you might not have known.

1. I am a bad story teller. When it comes to my writing strengths, I do the best when writing feature articles. Basically, something you would see in a magazine. This is why I was so surprised to be able to finish a book for NaNoWriMo. My story telling skills are horrible. This is usually very apparent when sitting around a campfire.

2. I have a sick obsession with "end of world" disaster type movies. I will watch them all regardless of how bad they might be. The movie 2012 is one of my favorites... and since I know what is supposed to happen on that day, I will be glad that I am not going to be in California Dec. 21st since I am heading home for the holidays.

3. I took a lot of joy in people complimenting me on how much weight I lost in the past year. But now that I have kind of kept it off, I am kind of sick of hearing about it. No - I haven't lost any more weight since last February. I have been plateaued (or maybe I have been drinking too much wine!) That also means that every  single time the same person asks me again about weight loss, it reminds me that I haven't gotten to goal. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the compliments. But I don't enjoy the fact that everybody thinks I am obsessive about working out because I am trying to lose more weight. Currently, while I would love to actually get to goal, I actually work out more for the mood enhancing effects. You should see me when I don't work out... I turn into a bitch!

4. I can't write erotica. It makes me giggle too much. I am so immature. Well, since I just wrote a book, and part of it does deal with a few minor (but needed) sex scenes, I had to enlist my husband's help. Personally, I think it is corny. Personally, I am hoping one day my mom will read this book. And personally, I really don't want my mom to read a sex scene that her innocent daughter wrote.

5. I am currently sick. It scares me to death. Not that this is anything more than a very short stomach bug, but because earlier this year I got sick and was sick for 6 months. In fact, I was so sick that I don't remember a good portion of this year. That being said, it scares me that I was out of it so much yesterday, that I can't recall anything. I don't ever want to be that sick again.

6. I love musicals. I think every single show should have at least one musical episode. I love watching musicals, whether it is on DVD or in a live theater performance. For awhile, every DVD we bought was a musical. Yet, there is still so many I haven't seen.

7. Speaking of musicals, it has taken me awhile to realize this, but there is a few traits that make a man more attractive to me regardless of how he actually looks. If a man can sing or dance, his hotness level is automatically given a few extra notches. Double that if he can do both. This is one of the reason's why my favorite actor is Ewan McGregor. Have you seen him in Moulin Rouge?

Now time to pass the award off to other Bloggers....

For me, coming up with 7 things was way easier than attempting to pick out just one person for this Beautiful Blogger Award. (Ok - so I am actually supposed to pick 7!) The reason being, I have met so many wonderful bloggers in the Bloppy Bloggers group that I think they all deserve this award. That being said, I am only going to give it to a couple. Why - so those who are still new to the blogging world will have a chance to also give the award to others in the group, or even others outside of the group.

Here we are... having a blast in Vegas!

1. The first person I am giving this award to is The Realhousewife. I feel like I am playing favoritism here because it doesn't matter the award, Kelly is going to get it from me every single time. Out of all the writer's I have met online, she is the first one I have actually met in person. The opportunity was priceless. She was headed to Vegas for a getaway and I am not too far from Vegas. So my husband and I took the drive to met up with Kelly and her husband Dave. We have actually got a chance to hang out a few other times... all times went too fast as I swear we could talk for hours (you should time us on the phone sometime!) So, she is my first selection for The Beautiful Blogger. She is beautiful not only on the outside, but the inside as well. She is beautiful through words and through voice. I just love this girl. She has picked me up when I was down and she has given me some great inspiration for stuff to write about. After all, if it wasn't for her, I probably never would have known about the Booty Pop! Kelly is just plain awesome. Don't take my word for it... check her out for yourself!

2. The second person I am giving this award to is Julie from Life According to Julie and Fabulous Blogging. Now I actually met her online through a different group on Facebook, however, I was instantly drawn into her blog. In fact, she was probably the main person who got me started with blogging (even though she probably didn't realize it). This woman amazes me. Not only because her blogs are entertaining and helpful, but because of her courage to stand up, whether it is a topic she believes in - like Enough - or it is sharing her memoir Wanted so others will be able to learn from her experiences. You can check out her book by clicking here... I highly recommend it. It is an incredible read! I couldn't put it down. But the best part about Julie is that she is down to earth and someone I can relate to. There have been so many times when she has said something and I have to tell my husband about it because it just seems similar. She is an amazing person to follow and always there to lend a helping hand. Honestly, I don't know how she seems to do it all, but just sit back and watch her and you will be amazed as well.

There are so many great bloggers out there, I find it difficult to narrow the choices down. Every single blogger I interact with qualifies for The Beautiful Blogger Award! You guys are all amazing! You have made this journey an incredible one and I am truly humbled by those who stop by and offer your support.

Enough. Do you feel fabulous?

It seems like it has been forever since the Enough campaign was launched. It was started by a brilliant writer, blogger and friend who decided she didn't like what society kept telling us, so on her blog Life according to Julie, she started this campaign after a photo of Maria Kang that just didn't sit right with her. I of course jumped on board because I think it is a fabulous idea and frankly, society needs something - Something to change our perspectives on how we view ourselves.

Do you feel Fabulous?

Life is all about how you view yourself. And frankly, there are far too many people who are not too nice when it comes to how they talk and treat themselves. Well, it is time to change that! We need to look at ourselves in a different light. If we don't like what we see, how can we possibly expect others to like what they see.

Each one of us is different. Each of us has our own imperfections that make us who we are. The question is how do we view these imperfections. Do we love them or do we loathe them?

I have had to think long and hard about these very questions about myself. Mainly because I have always rode the weight loss rollercoaster and I have found regardless of where I get, I am still my hardest judge. Yet, I have two young daughters I have to look after and set a good example for. If they see me hating myself, then what are they going to follow?

When my husband and I decided it was time for me to stay home with the kids, I found I entered a whole different world. I was becoming the "frumpy housewife!" I stopped caring how I was looking because frankly, the only ones who saw me were my husband and my kids. The longer I kept this up, the more miserable I felt. Because I was out of people's eyes, I just didn't feel the need to put any effort into myself. It was a trap. I was falling hard into the world of hating my own imperfections. Yet, I know I am not the only one who occasionally feels this way or gets stuck in this negative mental rut.

It was time for me to start feeling a little differently. I needed to start feeling fabulous!

I realized it doesn't matter what others think; it only matters what I think. When I got my day going with a good workout, took a shower and put on my makeup, the day just seemed better. When I just put on some frumpy comfy clothes, I didn't feel motivated to get through the day. I needed to start the day off on the right foot!

I have always hid behind the excuse that I am not a girly-girl. There were clothes I would avoid in my closet because they were reserved for when I went out somewhere or people came to my house. Yet, I realized as I started dressing up a little more, even if no one would see me, that I felt good about myself. I wasn't the frumpy housewife and I could still turn heads. In my frumpy clothes, I often doubted myself. It wasn't what I looked like, but it was how I presented myself. And frankly, when you feel good about yourself, it isn't hard to feel fabulous!

So get out there... put on your best clothes... do something to your hair... apply the mascara you save for special occasions... wear those high heels... anything. But present yourself the way you want to be viewed. After all, you are fabulous. Now we just need to start believing it ourselves!

So what are you going to do to feel fabulous today?

Enough. Beauty on the Inside = Beauty on the Outside

Today was school picture day for my kids. So, on top of the normal getting ready tasks, I took the time out to beautify my two older daughters. (Yes, there have been rare occasions when I notice them walking out of the front door with their hair looking less than brushed. Shameful since as a trade I am a hairstylist!)

As I was doing my youngest daughter's hair, she looked at me and said, "Mommy, it is such a good thing that we have a hairstylist for a mother! Because you know what to do!"

She is only 7 years old and already, she is talking about how important it is to look on the outside. I have the tools and techniques to make her beautiful. The fact is, she really is my fashion diva. To say she loves the way she looks is just touching the surface. I often times find her staring at herself in the mirror full of admiration.

My oldest daughter also commented on her looks as I was doing her hair. Now I didn't do anything fancy. I just straightened it so it looked neat and presentable. A far cry from what it looked like this morning after waking up with a bad case of bed head!

I am happy my daughters love the way they look, and even though I may be biased, I believe these two girls to be some of the most beautiful little people I have ever met! Yet, I also want them to realize that beauty radiates from the inside.

My daughters are getting to the age where they start looking at their outside looks. As a woman who has constantly struggled with my own self-image, I want to make sure they are on the right track. This is were the Enough. campaign has stepped in. I already knew the media was a big part of the problem for women loving who they are. So as a responsible parent, I want to teach my daughters what is right.

I want my daughters to know they are beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. That it doesn't matter if they are skinny or fat or whether their hair is curly or straight. I want them to love themselves for who they are. After all, they are starting to enter a very important time frame. A place when they start judging how they look on the outside, instead of what is truly important. The beauty on the inside.

Life Lessons

I know I am teaching my kids the right lessons just based off of our conversations. The other day, my daughter was talking about how her friend was getting teased at school. Her friend had been sick for a few days and when she came back, she had a fever blister on her lip. The other kids at school teased her about it and really made her feel self-conscious about how she looked. But my daughter told me not only did she stick up for her friend, but she also reassured her she was just as beautiful as she was the day before and will continue to be tomorrow.

My daughter is only 10 years old, and I found not only did this melt my heart, but it also showed how truly mature my daughter is for such a young age. She stuck up for her friend. And she also realizes beauty on the outside is only skin deep. It is what is on the inside that truly counts! Now that is a lesson some adults have yet to even learn!

Have you had Enough.

I stand by this campaign because I truly believe it is important. As adults, we too need to learn this lesson of standing up and loving ourselves for all of our imperfections. But mostly, if we learn this lesson, we can also teach it to our children. What does that mean? Our children will grow up stronger. They will learn to love themselves. And who knows, if we all learn to love ourselves a little more, it might even make it harder for bullies to attack us for our imperfections.

So I invite you to join us as we all stand up together and say Enough. They even have their very own Facebook Page so you can get in on all the action and show your support.

Together we can make a big difference. After all, one person standing in the middle of the room might be difficult to hear, but if we all start shouting together, we WILL be noticed! Are you ready to take the stand with us?

Enough! This is what healthy looks like!

Today's media has a big pull on how women view their bodies. But the reality is what we see in the media is a result of some very fortunate positions. People who can afford a chef that cooks the best meals with no limitations on family food budgets; those who can afford personal trainers to do the workouts which are the most effective; and of course, the added help of technology such as photo editing programs that can remove those stress zits or stretch marks. And even if those didn't exist, there is always cosmetic surgery. Why not? After all, if they can afford it then why shouldn't the be able to look the best that they can look.

I have no problem with this. However, I have a problem with their images being posted as what every women should look like. Frankly, that is not possible. We are all designed differently. We are not cookie cutters. So when we see these pictures of super skinny models (who only ate a piece of celery!) we start thinking we are not good enough. And as women, we are teaching our kids this exact same attitude. Well this is what I say to that!

ENOUGH.

The Enough Campaign was started by a fellow blog writer Julie DeNeen. It was after seeing a photo of Maria Kang on Facebook. The problem wasn't of the photo, which showed Maria Kang with her 3 children and her six pack abs. The problem was with the caption. It showed her youngest was 8 months old and she had her body back... so what was your excuse? That caption captivated everything wrong with society. It showed that if you can't get your pre-pregnancy body back you are obviously making some sort of excuse!

Are  you brave enough to bare your belly?

Now everybody who knows me, knows I am a super crazy fitness nut. I am all about NO EXCUSES! However, I have had ENOUGH as well. I will continue to work out... but I will do so because I enjoy working out. I will continue to count my calories until I get to my goal. However, if I have a cheeseburger and a milk shake along the way or if I eat more calories than what I am allotted, I am not going to use it as an excuse. I don't need to compare my body to anybody else's body and I shouldn't feel ashamed by the way I look because it has taken me 3 years after giving birth to my son to get as far as I have.

I don't have my pre-pregnancy body back and chances are good I will never look like I am that young teenager again. But the good thing is, I don't want to. I am an adult. I have a body of a women who has endured 3 pregnancies. I have a body with stretch marks given to me by my wonderful children. And I wouldn't change it. Why, because I am who I am. And that is not an excuse!

Teach your children how to be healthy - not to be obsessed with skinny!

I am not skinny. I have never been skinny and I never will be skinny. But, I will say I am healthy. I am more toned and I am stronger than I ever have been before. But all this is the result of lots of hours spent working out. This is my "ME" time. Others however, might not want to spend their "me" time working out for endless hours in the day. To me, it made me feel happier and healthier and a whole lot less cranky which made me a better parent.

However, with my excessive workouts, I realized I might be sending a wrong message to my children. With two older girls who are right around the corner of being obsessed with their weight, I wanted them to understand why I was working out. And the only way I could do that was to talk to them.

Being healthy is not about six pack abs. It is not just about moving and exercising and eating healthy. It is about setting a good example. If your children see you working out, they might actually join you. Often times as a family, we go on evening walks to burn off our dinner. It is about eating your fruits and veggies so they want to try them to. But most importantly, it is about having a positive body image. If you love your body - your children will follow.

Show the world that you aren't afraid to bare your belly - that you too believe that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. The norm is not stick thin models - it is us. The women who have a little junk in their trunk. Those who have cellulite and stretch marks and maybe a little pudge her and there. Be proud of who you are and be proud of what you look like.

Show your kids that this is what healthy looks like! 

Because you are beautiful!

If you want to check out my other writing - feel free to check out Barbergirl28 on Hubpages!