Thursday, March 7, 2013

Excuse Me... But You Are NOT My Child's Parent

Yesterday we got a letter from the school. It was a letter to notify us that our oldest daughter has been excessively absent over the last school year.

I am ticked.
Don't be deceived by her sweet
smile... she is a trouble maker!

First off, who the hell does the school think they are? They are not the parent to my child. I am.

So I get this letter, telling me about my child's excessive absences, which, by the way, I had already called her in for. They were marked for illness and she was kept home for very good reasons. She was sick.

Believe me when I tell you, I encourage my children to go to school day in and day out. I have never held them out of school so we could have a random snuggle day just because I wanted to spend time with my kids. That is what the weekends are for. And if I did, whose business is it anyway?

  • Last year she had perfect attendance, so what does that tell you about how ridiculous this letter really is?
  • Last I checked, I am the one who went through labor for each and every one of them.
  • Last I checked I was the one nursing them back to health when they had a raging fever.
  • Last I checked I was the one that had to clean up the puke splatter (ok - I usually make my husband do that!)
  • Last I checked, I am the parent and I get to decide what is best for my child.

Yet I get this letter from the school telling me of all the possible repercussions if my child's attendance did not improve. She is a top student for a reason. She loves to read and she loves going to school. She is very smart.
But as the parent, I might be guilty of an infraction and subject to prosecution pursuant to Article 6. What the FUCK is that supposed to mean. The student might be subject to arrest under Education Code Section 48264. And a bunch of other BS that continues to heat me up.

Arrest the child already... for being sick!
That shouldhelp their education.
I get it. I really do. Some parents don't enforce their children to go to school if they don't want to. Some kids are excessively sick and the school is the first pathway to catch problems that might be at home. But this is now the second time we have gotten this notice since we have moved to California. And frankly, I am angry!

The schools don't allow you to have your child at school when they reach a fever over 100. So isn't it the responsible thing to keep your kid home when they are sick. Believe me, it will hopefully stop the spread. If other parents kept their child home when they got the flu maybe my child wouldn't have brought it into our house! My daughter missed 5 days in the month of February from that darn flu bug. Our family still isn't over it.
Mommy... I am not feeling good!

Not to mention, if a child is sick, they are to attend Saturday school. This is all because of the money. The better the attendance, the more money they get from the state. Cool... I am all for giving the school money. But the politics behind this is absolute crap.

I get it. They can't single out students. They need to treat them all the same. So send me a letter announcing my daughter's truancy. But I am going to complain about it. And guess what? The next time she is sick, I am still going to call her in and let her stay home.

The other thing that really bugs me about the whole situation is because on the same letter, my daughter has two unexcused absences. I know what these are from. They are from when we went home for Christmas.

Now someone explain to me please why I can't pull my kids out of school, based off of my own discretion, to let them visit with their family across the states? We pulled them out a day early, we even informed the school of this decision, because we didn't want to miss Christmas if we hit bad weather. On the way back, we had issues with our vehicle so we ended up getting back a day late. Both absences are unexcused, whether we called them in or not. What gives them the right?

The last letter I got was also for unexcused absences where we called them in. Different school, still in California. We went home because my great Grandma was having health problems. So you are going to tell me my kid is truant because I went home to see a sick family member. Wrong. That is wrong on so many levels.

And guess what, I don't regret any of the decisions I have made. I will pull my kids out of school again if it is to see a family member they only see a couple times a year. I will pull them out of school if they are sick. And frankly if I am having a day that I just want to sit at home and watch movies all day with the kids and I don't feel like sending them to school, I will pull them out to. Why - because I am the parent and everything I do is what I believe is in their best interest.

It is just a shame the main lesson here is parents are going to  have to learn to lie to the school to get their kids absences excused for legitimate reasons. After all, a child having truancy on their record could haunt them in the years to come.


  1. They should actually thank you for keeping the kid home when sick cause that avoided others to get that bug!!

    Seriously it is not fun to nurse a sick kid..I hear ya!

    Thus, these schools should be sending out spa coupons for mom's after assessing which kid had a high turn over of sick days :))

  2. I get that they want to keep kids from skippig school and to stop delinquent parents for letting their kids miss school for bad reasons. BUT they really should not lump every kid with absences in the same group. Your child is performing well and you are a responsible parent. They should take that into consideration.
    I was lucky enough to attend private schools. They class siszed were small and we got more private attention. I always had excessive absences for family vacations, and my mom used to let me stay home when I wasn't sick. The school allowed it because my grades were good.
    The school is focusing on the wring thing. What about all those kids that do show up but are failing. Why don't they do something about that?!

  3. Whoa, I don't blame you for being upset. I think if I had kiddos I would be too. I didn't even know they could send letters like that.....SO wrong.

  4. Why does there have to be so much politics with everything. That's a loada crud. Grr. I taught in public school and they chased me out, because of the bureaucratic politics. Man, oh man, homeschooling is sounding better and better to me...

  5. I'd be totally annoyed too. When we've pulled my kids from school for family trips, etc., I am always afraid I'll get a letter or phone call too. Definitely makes me want to lie next time!

  6. Oh I would be fuming and I guess you are right the lesson here is to lie, lie, lie!! I am so not a liar, but for something like this I may need to learn to and try my best. Sorry Stacy for all the trouble that this is causing you and can't say more that you are so right and the school so wrong.

  7. I have to say I rarely give a reason. I just call the school and let them know my child will not be there. Or I use their online service. It really isn't any of their damn business why my child might not be coming to school on that day. And if the state wants to get huffy about it... well I can get pretty huffy too. I agree 100 percent that you should be able to remove your child from school if you want without them jumping up and down and causing problems. And the only reason an absence should be unexcused is because the parent failed to call in. Sorry you are having problems with the school system. You are right, it isn't about the kids anymore, it's all about politics and money.

  8. Jeez! I am angry reading your post! I can't believe a school would act like that. What absolute crap! You as the parent have the right to take your child out of school. If they miss a lot of work, you will be there to help them catch up. What business is it of the school? Gosh, I can see why more people are into homeschooling. This is absolutely ridiculous. Good for you for standing up. Don't they have better things to do with their time? My wrong.

  9. I'll tell you the same thing that I told you on twitter. Let her get sick. Send her to school anyway, and make her hug the principal or her teacher and say:

    "Snitches get shots....Next time you call I bring the flu..."


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