Friday, February 1, 2013

Flashback Friday: Clickity Clack Ads

I figured out the secret to Google Adsense!!

Yep, that is right! I know it. And if you want to know what it is, you need to gather around.

You see, this past month I have been very closely watching Google Adsense and checking to see how my earnings are doing. Why? Because I am curious and there is just something about seeing the pennies go up that just makes me giddy. I started planning for that meal I will be able to order off the dollar menu soon! How can you not be excited?

Well, in January, I managed to not only double my earnings from December, but I surpassed tripling my earnings and almost quadrupled them. I can't give you exact numbers because I do believe that is against the terms of service, so you will just have to trust me.

I sat long and hard to try and figure out what I had done differently... and finally out of no where it came to me. Now I am going to share the secret with you!

It's easy. It is so easy that I don't know why I didn't think of this before.

The secret to increasing your earnings with Google Adsense is....



Write Crappy Content!

That is right! Write crappy content.

I bet you didn't expect me to say that now did you? I hope you aren't disappointed with my answer, so let me explain what I mean. We all know that to earn money with Google Adsense we have to get someone to click on our ads. Now we can't ask them to do it, and we certainly can't do it ourselves. We also earn money if people stick around to our page for a long time. (So if you can't write crappy, write something boring so they fall asleep instead!) However, that is equivalent to pennies unless we get this huge surge of traffic with millions of people flocking to our site.

I hate to sound pessimistic, but with how vast the digital world is, the likelihood of having millions of visits a day seems unlikely, at least to me. After all, I am ecstatic if I get more than a couple hundred. So what does that mean? If we are serious about earning money on Google Adsense, we need to get the ad clicks.

So this is what I came up with. Write crappy content but content that produces good ads. That way, when someone comes to your site, realizes how bad it is, they will instantly click on the ad just to get away. What does that mean... your crap writing has earned you money!

You know how strippers get paid to take their clothes off? In this case, it is like someone paying for them to put a shirt back on.

Brilliant - I know!

So what does this mean for the rest of us writer's out there that believes quality will always surpass everything else...

Well, it looks like we are screwed!

Disclaimer: This article is purely satire. It is meant to be funny. I truly don't know the secret to Adsense and believe it is just a cruel entity to make online writers believe that one day they will be millionaires. However, like the rest, I am willing to give it a try and see if I too can become successful. If you feel you know the key to adsense feel free to let us in on your secret in the comments. If you feel this will help other writers you know, feel free to share the love. I will not charge you for spreading my work. And as always, keep your head held high, protect the children, wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming, don't feed the elephants, and take a daily multivitamin.

So today for Flashback Friday, I am featuring this article I wrote on Hubpages on how to earn money with Google Adsense. I hope you enjoy it!

Clickity Clack Ads - The Secret To Making Money With Adsense

21 comments:

  1. LOLOL....that's awesome! Thank you for sharing the *secret* I'll share and tell, too. ;)

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    1. Doesn't it just stare you right in the face. Why has no one realized this before! LOL Thanks for sharing!

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  2. Hah! This was great Stacy. I loved it!

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  3. Darn...I thought it was boobies and nuts! :) Now I have to totally rethink my whole writing career. Dammit!

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    1. I know, right? Here I was thinking I was doing the right think with boobs being my topic of expertise. I was wrong. Here I just need to write crap!

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  4. Ok this this really cracked me up-by the looks of some f the bigger income producing blogs out there ou are right on!

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    1. I am glad though that we can at least shed some light on the mystery! :)

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  5. Oh now you tell me, lol!! Truly great Stacy and thanks for sharing. Seriously, too funny :) :)

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    1. I have been holding this in for like a week waiting to spill my guts. But I wanted to do more research! LOL

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  6. I am now going to write the biggest bunch of crap for my next post just to see what happens...

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  7. well according to this article the world should be a lot richer... mmm

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    1. Interesting thought... except not all of us have signed up for an Adsense account...hmmmm ;)

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  8. Lol! Love it! Finally, the secret is out! :)

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    1. We knew it all along too... who would have thought it would have been this easy! :)

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  9. LOL!! I wasn't expecting that...hehehe. I think I need to start changing strategies! ;) So funny!

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    1. Glad I took you by surprise. I bet people came here thinking I was all serious and stuff... ha ha ha... got them! :)

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  10. Apparently my content is crappy because I've been averaging $2.50 per day...sometimes more. I want to increase my income, so maybe I need to write crappier content. Should be easy enough for me.

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    1. That is great! Your earnings.. not that you think you are writing crap! :) But you need to step it up and do much much worse if you want to party with the big wigs! ;)

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  11. Wait until you lose your adsense account just before pay-out - You'll get only one reason: "Violation of the terms...." And don't get a hope in hell that The Lords will reply on your inquiries. This is not satire; this is the truth and I am terribly pissed.... Google is an autocratic robot ruling the world. Remember those SF movies, of people creating robots that took over and caused havoc? I think we're almost there. Really, I don't have a positive thing to say about Google Adsense or the people behind it. They did not even try - in the beginning - to fix the problem I've had with my email account. Something is not kosher at Google....

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