I figured out the secret to Google Adsense!!
You see, this past month I have been very closely watching Google Adsense and checking to see how my earnings are doing. Why? Because I am curious and there is just something about seeing the pennies go up that just makes me giddy. I started planning for that meal I will be able to order off the dollar menu soon! How can you not be excited?
Well, in January, I managed to not only double my earnings from December, but I surpassed tripling my earnings and almost quadrupled them. I can't give you exact numbers because I do believe that is against the terms of service, so you will just have to trust me.
I sat long and hard to try and figure out what I had done differently... and finally out of no where it came to me. Now I am going to share the secret with you!
It's easy. It is so easy that I don't know why I didn't think of this before.
The secret to increasing your earnings with Google Adsense is....
Write Crappy Content!
I bet you didn't expect me to say that now did you? I hope you aren't disappointed with my answer, so let me explain what I mean. We all know that to earn money with Google Adsense we have to get someone to click on our ads. Now we can't ask them to do it, and we certainly can't do it ourselves. We also earn money if people stick around to our page for a long time. (So if you can't write crappy, write something boring so they fall asleep instead!) However, that is equivalent to pennies unless we get this huge surge of traffic with millions of people flocking to our site.
I hate to sound pessimistic, but with how vast the digital world is, the likelihood of having millions of visits a day seems unlikely, at least to me. After all, I am ecstatic if I get more than a couple hundred. So what does that mean? If we are serious about earning money on Google Adsense, we need to get the ad clicks.
So this is what I came up with. Write crappy content but content that produces good ads. That way, when someone comes to your site, realizes how bad it is, they will instantly click on the ad just to get away. What does that mean... your crap writing has earned you money!
You know how strippers get paid to take their clothes off? In this case, it is like someone paying for them to put a shirt back on.
Brilliant - I know!
So what does this mean for the rest of us writer's out there that believes quality will always surpass everything else...
Well, it looks like we are screwed!
Disclaimer: This article is purely satire. It is meant to be funny. I truly don't know the secret to Adsense and believe it is just a cruel entity to make online writers believe that one day they will be millionaires. However, like the rest, I am willing to give it a try and see if I too can become successful. If you feel you know the key to adsense feel free to let us in on your secret in the comments. If you feel this will help other writers you know, feel free to share the love. I will not charge you for spreading my work. And as always, keep your head held high, protect the children, wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming, don't feed the elephants, and take a daily multivitamin.
So today for Flashback Friday, I am featuring this article I wrote on Hubpages on how to earn money with Google Adsense. I hope you enjoy it!
Clickity Clack Ads - The Secret To Making Money With Adsense