Wednesday, July 3, 2013

He Forgot to Use the Safe Word!

Last week my husband and I were in Walmart picking up some medication. I had done all my research thanks to WebMD, and I was sure I was having an allergic reaction.

However, that is not necessarily what it looked like. My eye was swollen. It looked like I had been punched in the face, at least from a distance.

People were giving us strange looks. I giggled innocently as I knew my husband was probably being cursed by those who didn't have a clue what was going on. It was obvious. The look on their faces said it loud and clear.... "Really? What kind of man beats his wife and takes her out in public?"

With a face that looked like mine, I needed something to make me laugh. My husband was irritating me, constantly commenting on my inability to "leave it alone!"

Revenge was mine.

"Seriously! It is really starting to hurt. You really shouldn't hit me so hard!" I said with a smile on my face. The couple in front of us had their back turned to us, but had just given my husband the evil eye.

"Maybe next time you should learn to listen the first time."

By the time we got to the check out person, the couple in front of us was walking away as fast as they could, probably in search of a police officer to come rescue the Damsel in Distress. (Who am I kidding... this is Walmart!)

This gave us a quick laugh and we proceeded on home to lather my face with antihistamine gel. Relief was in the forcast.....

Yeah right. This is called Karma. That was last week.

The beginning of this week I started off with my left eye completely swollen shut. This was after a visit to the Urgent Care 2 days earlier and what I thought was finally the road to recovery.

I can barely see anything. My hearing is almost entirely gone as well from this severe sinus infection. With my eyesight fading, I am starting to think the only sense I might soon be left with is common sense.... and I am not entirely sure I had that to begin with.

This is obviously Karma from last week'
s short prank.

I thought it was funny. Most people should know that anybody in an actual abusive relationship, would not be in public joking about it. But maybe I shouldn't have been joking about such a serious topic anyway.

What can I say - I am an insensitive asshole. Go ahead and judge me.

This is my payback. Even though I have never been in a fight before... I look like I got a blow right to the face. My right eye is following.

Guess what, next time Karma wants to fight I am taking the first blow.

And until then, I am just going to use the excuse that my husband forgot the safe word....


  1. That's hilarious! Your hubby's just lucky the guy in the couple in front of you guys wasn't a masked marauder ready to come to the assistance of a fair damsel in distress! lol My wife and I no longer need a safe word. The "Zzzzzzzzzzzzz" when one of us goes to sleep pretty much indicates things are over. Ah, to be young again! lol Get well!

  2. HAHA. Man...I can't believe this is STILL going on. This is when our medical system drives me nuts. I always turn to alternative medicine first - but that's just me. I have never trusted those docs. Don't get me wrong: they have their place and in an emergency situation, yes, I'm going to the ER. However, alternative therapies seem to work on me so much better than conventional medicine...

  3. Karma totally served your ass! But seriously though it is insensitive people need to get the sticks out their ass and lighten up. Everyone needs to have some fun sometimes, even if you have some sort of ick in ur eye!


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